Friday 22 November 2019

AN UNTREATABLE BOYLE

21st November 2019 - Wythenshawe Amateurs 4 v 1 Daisy Hill - I have a sore throat and a rather fat head at the mo, it could be a cold, fungal flu or the virus known as 'cup fever'.  I have seen a few cup ties of late, dithered my lower dumplings off whilst watching several magical games unfold - I really should use that knitted nut-bag my Grandma made after one of her sexual seizures - and here's me thinking I knew best.  The game tonight was attended due to its close proximity to home and because it was an opportunity to visit the Whammies home ground for the first time this season.  Again, with these encounters, they are a difficult one to call as one doesn't know where each teams ambitions lie or where they are placing emphasis.  What was certain was that there was a chill in the chuff and I was feeling rather shitty - I hate winter.  

And so, upon arrival I had a brew with STP Stu, we chose an appropriate viewing point and with tingle-keen fingers I prepared to scrawl.  We had both opted for an home win with a UFO sighting halfway through the second half, a brief pause whilst the referee finished the latest chapter of 'Nobby Nobson' and a yellow card for a nearby neighbour who was doing a spot of nude gardening with his rather strange looking dibbler - here's hoping!

With turf kicked up and the chase on for the globe of promise it was Daisy Hill who cultivated an early gratis gift via a free-kick.  The ball was played but the home team defended and dashed with No 9 (Daniel Egan) knocking a fair ball out to No 7 (Brandon Byers-Wilkes) who worked inward, passed to No 10 (Ross Aikenhead) who in turn, forced the keeper to make a very decent save.  The home pack were soon marauding again, No 3 (Luke Worth) launched a blisterer, it wasn't that far off the mark and then No 6 (Dominic Lillie) cracked a low drive that was equally close and perhaps signalled a long night's work ahead for the travellers. 

The following period brought much fluster but little in the way of control on a very firm pitch that wasn't helping matters at all.  The Ammies eventually put together a sound surge with a long, sweet ball that Byers-Wilkes gathered before leathering forth a blazing delivery right across the countenance of the strike zone.  Takers were absent, the ball was knocked out but a quick thinking No 11 (Travis Boyles) pounced like a jackal on a fly-blown corpse and firmly lashed home - the touchpaper had been lit.

Daisy Hill, despite being slightly under a cosh and 1 goal behind made some good running and earned a well-deserved corner.  The angled kick came, a flick header saw the ball go loose, No 11 (Alexander Spencer) posted a very firm dig that was met by a quality laden save.  Another corner followed and was quickly filed away under 'S' for 'shite'.

A fractured session developed, too many wayward passes were spoiling a somewhat crappy broth although The Ammies were still adding the main soccerised spices.  A moment of uproar came when a Daisy Dude was tumbled in the box and a crunching tackle did add a few extra verbal enhancements based, as per, around words like 'fuck' and 'wanker'.  The closing minutes saw an absence of excitement, we headed for a brew to stave off a rather nasty nip.

The brew was eventually acquired after an elderly Oxo Army had acquired their tipple, peppered it up and wandered off reeking of beefy fumes.  As we passed the clubhouse we noted a rather inebriated Neville Pearson (Cheadle Heath Nomads Secretary) leading a nude Conga and blowing a purple trumpet (I leave the rest to your imagination).  Thankfully Nev is booked into the Betty Ford Clinic in Ilkley real soon, as for the trumpet blowing, I think he may end up in prison if he carries on.

Our chosen spot for half two was between the dug outs, we spoke to a fine guy from the Whammies dug out, he promised to give us our money back for a crap first half ha, ha - I like the man's honesty.  Daisy Hill were the first to flow with any real designs, a great run came from a 'player unknown' with a shot just wide.  Note to Daisy Hill - get those numbers on the shirts sorted and made more visible!  The Wythy Warriors responded, Byers-Wilkes and No 2 (Christopher Howard) linked up, a teasing cross came, attackers were absent without leave.  Boyles was the next to invade, he squeezed a shot from nowhere, the guest No 1 (Dean Williams) produced yet another choice save - well played that man.

The action of this half was of a far better standard, but both teams looked to have a lot more focus and control.  The Hill advanced, a great knock landed at the feet of No 9 (Jamie Ramwell) who pushed the ball to the willing No 7 (Dann Warburton).  A first time drive was the right idea, it was a shame to see it fly over the bar.  Wythy next, Byers-Wilkes held up the ball, nudged on to the galloping Howard who advanced and slapped in a low drive - again the mittman was up to the task with a firm hand used to guide the ball away.  

Back and forth the play now went, semi-opportunities came and disappeared in the bracing air.  Both teams were getting stuck in, in truth there was very little in it and Daisy Hill nearly grabbed an equaliser when Warburton loaded up, released and sent a sizzler just the wrong side of the sticks.  A corner followed, the rising nut should have buried the ball, Whythenshawe were let off a very precarious hook.

Subs now came both ways, Wythenshawe's Aikenhead turned and let fly a decent dig, once more the orange clad keeper produced the goods.  Suddenly Boyles found the ball at his feet and went on a purposeful foray.  The soccerised basket of success was set to be filled, a shot was plucked from nowhere and from nothing the lead was doubled, it was a finely taken goal, Daisy Hill were now faced with an uphill struggle and that was being conservative.

As Wythy tried to drain the dangling gonads of opportunity of any remaining seeds of success the guest keeper produced a couple more saves and kept the leaking plumbing at bay.  The Hill were far from down and out and eventually, after No 15 (Tom Lee) played a superb ball, a corner was earned.  The delivery had pace and, more importantly, accuracy.  The nut of No 5 (Dean Singleton) was placed against the spherical object, propelled it forth and was seen to bulge the inner meshing - 2 - 1 - now this was an interesting scenario to say the least.  Alas, as is often the case, a team who had just glimpsed dazzling hope were caught with a temporary blindspot.  One of the subs was fed, he had a look and whacked in a cross, up stepped Boyles and slammed home, the two goal lead was restored and the lad had a hat-trick - who would have thought it?   No sooner had this body blow been delivered than the goal grabbing bugger was in again, on a one on one with the keeper who he duly rounded and sent the ball, from a slightly sharp angle, rolling into the net.  Wham, bam and up yer arse.

The last 5 minutes and a smattering of extra time came and went, Daisy Hill tried to get a consolation, came close but it wasn't to be and we wandered off wondering how this one had ended up at 4 goals to 1.  The reason, in the main, was down to the Man of the Match, Wythenshaw Town's No 11 (Travis Boyles) who was alert at all times, very forward thinking in his approach and who used his quick tootsies to great effect when leading the opposing defence a merry dance.  A predatory and precise outing, due thanks are given.  On the way home it must be noted that I saw the aforementioned Mr Pearson stark naked, up a tree singing Boney M's classic hit 'Rasputin'.  The Russian jig on a precarious branch looked lethal and believe me the site was far from arousing - I went onward, dithered and withered for many reasons.

FINAL THOUGHT - A game with a stuttering, shabby first half and a second period that gave greater reward and produced a rather tilted end score that didn't really reflect what went on.  Daisy Hill are struggling at the mo but they are a young squad backed up by a good vocal keeper who is trying to keep them alert.  I saw many positives tonight but work needs to be done when in possession with players off the ball making more decisive, diagional and problem posing runs and support just needs to be a tad quicker when on the attack.  They were remarkably unlucky to concede 4 tonight but that is all done and dusted and it is the league campaign that needs most attention.  A touch more height in the pack wouldn't go amiss either and I hope they get back on track real soon.   Wythenshawe Amateurs didn't have the greatest night tonight and for long periods struggled to gain any liquidity.  They are a decent unit who are not quite the finished package but are doing things the right way it seems and with many eye-catching players in the ranks they can surely build on what they have got.  The 4 goal hero is a gem, they have a good backbone to reinforce, perhaps a bit more killer instinct and passing precision and kaboom, onwards they will go.  Promotion is a step too far this time, a cup though is not beyond the reams of possibility - I am watching the draw as per.

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