REBOUNDING ROAD

20th January 2020 - Maine Road FC 6 v 1 Ellesmere Rangers FC - My mental health is always up and down, at the moment it is down and as a result I have missed a gig tonight.  The thought of catching a busy train into Manchester, standing in a full-room and having my ears clattered just didn't appeal and, in fact, had my guts all aflutter.  Over the years I have seen 1000+ bands, have a ringing in the head and am, at the moment, just a little disillusioned with the music scene as well as many aspects of life in general.  Football is grand escapism, fresh air, a wide space, an absorption - and, with a pep-pill, I am in a better place for a while.  Luckily I have a superb wife who helps me along and who, after yoga today, dropped me off at this local-ish ground.  It was a trifle perishing to say the least and my equally pissed off pecker could almost be heard to holler a resounding 'Nooooo' as it was semi-exposed to elements deemed cruel.  I nipped into the club-house and met John D, always amiable, always good company.  After getting a brew we watched the teams warm-up, chatted about this and that and awaited the appearance of the two-sides.  Eventually Mark Bennet joined us and after giving a good kick at the dangling knackers of the black dog, I put pen to paper and scribbled out the following observations.

The Road started brightly (they always do) and put an early ball into the box that needed clearing straight off the line.  No 7 (Oscar Campbell) sent in a return shot through a crowd of players, the keeper, who was un-sighted, produced a top quality save to push the ball behind for a corner.  From the angle the delivery was initially missed by several swinging shanks before a flick on fell to No 8 (Ben Mooney) who wasted no time in burying the ball.  1 - 0 - what a great opening thrust this was by the boys in blue.

Ellesmere tried to react to this unexpected shock, a free-kick brought no success and then a shot came after some head tennis but could only find the centre of the mittman's abdomen.  The hosts were still dictating though, No 10 (Owen Pollitt) had a firm crack wide and then a sugar sweet ball was threaded through several Ellesmere players which No 9 (Jack Coop) collected before starting to progress.  The man at the helm was struggling to get the ball in full-control, was hassled by two eager markers but somehow evaded their close attention, put in a delectable chip and watched as the globe dropped into the awaiting net with the keeper reaching into the night air - what a choice strike it was and what a way to double his team's lead.

From here the resident ranks remained ablaze with another sweeping move finalised by a cross that Coop collected and ran into the awaiting net - 3 - 0 - shit the bed, was this a dream?   Ellesmere looked shell-shocked, they were clinging on for dear life and somehow managed to win a corner.  The ball was hoofed in, the keeper held with ease, a break was had and Campbell sent in a dipper that just dropped over the horizontal.  Maine Road came again, the guest keeper left an incoming cross, a defender and a striker seemed joined at the hips in a struggle to get the all important contact.  A shout for a foul came, only a corner was won with the outcome being absolutely 'sod all'. 

The visiting team once again tried to push with positivity, they were caught with their conkers exposed once more.  Mooney was at the pinnacle of another counter, he coolly rounded the advancing keeper whilst under pressure from a marker.  Space was found, the globe stroked homeward, the game was now done as a contest and all pre-match predictions were flushed down the U-bend of embarrassment.  Seconds later the same assassin had a long hopeful lob that fell just shy of the mark, by heck that would have been pure salt in a very open wound.

During the latter stages of the half No 7 (Jack Briscoe) had a rare dig for the guests but couldn't get his shot anywhere near the target area and the same team had a good burst of possession but were thwarted by an eager Maine Road team who hunted in packs and negated every threat that came their way.  We entered the break with a gulf between the teams - it was a quite unpredictable outcome.

For the break I stayed put and chatted with two fine blokes who I had last caught up with on the previous Tuesday.  If you read these reports you may remember I made a slanderous accusation regarding the two fellows relationship and predicted that the outcome of a 'lift-home' from the last match to be a bonny ground-hopping baby.  Alas, I have to hang my head in shame after finding out contraception was used at the aforementioned liaison with 3 elastic bands and a rubber glove helping in the avoidance of situation 'tubbed up'.  I really do need to keep my vulgar trap shut but, having said that, I did noticed that John D was wearing a new perfume and sporting a rather ornate engagement ring!  And back to the game!

Maine Road were out with good hunger, Ellesmere were seen to be offering up a bit more stubbornness.  Back and forth matters went, a bout of midfield gloopiness took over, we needed a further input of excitement to get this one back on track.  From a home corner a deflection nearly caught the keeper unawares and then a follow-up corner was nutted behind.  Suddenly the hosts came with purpose, Coop had the ball at his feet and was being forced backward.   The player stayed composed, turned his marker and moved forth with a choice lay off that was touched on and then clattered home by the swiftly swung peg of No 2 (Euan Melia).  The visiting team's guts had been finally torn out and worn as bloody garters by the celebrating hosts - this was now getting ridiculous.

And next...the guests were trying to regain a certain amount of composure when a back-pass came, the keeper misread matters, Coop interpreted the mishap and collected the gift with a tidy placement into the net. It was insult to injury and too much for my 'Idiot's Abacus' to take.

The game continued, Campbell for Road had an ambitious long-ranger fly inches wide, No 3 (Connor Courtney) for Ellesmere had a rare free-kick that was all to easily snuffed out and the guest No 8 (George Durrell) had a shot soon after that was best described as 'bilge'.  We wound down to the latter stages, No 5 (George Taylor) for The Rangers produced a great defensive header to stop a chance of a 7th strike for the MR marauders and then a surprising last thrust saw the guests put in a cross that the keeper punched with the pressure remaining and allowing Durrell to have a chance at a consolation which he took in fine style and completed the night's scoring.  The game ended soon after, I saw a fellow nearby being struck down by a heavenly thunderbolt after claiming he had predicted this scoreline and another bod, clearly a Maine Road fan, strip naked and indulge in a series of celebratory squat-thrusts - it really was a little too much to take in.   Man of the Match today goes to Maine Road's No 3 (Paul Earlam), a gem of a player who stuck to his role tonight and read every situation at the rear, helped move the ball forward when necessary and who displayed a fine touch that turned many a situation into something more positive.  He is a cultured young hoofer that Maine Road need to hold onto to keep the future rosy!

FINAL THOUGHT - I always like coming to watch Maine Road FC, they knock the ball about well, try and play good on the deck football and are usually involved in many unpredictable encounters.  I said a few months ago, that soon enough all will come together and a visiting team will get a whipping, tonight was that occasion and, to make matters more impressive, it was against a set of lads who have really turned a corner of late and seemed to be worthy opponents on this bracing January night.   The differences were simple - Maine Road were eager from the off, they worked like a pack of hyenas hunting down a limping Gazelle and when the chance arose to go in for the kill they well and truly took it.  The tempo played was incessant, the movement on and off the ball exact and many players stayed within their working role and maintained a discipline that put team rather than self first - always an important factor.  Ellesmere had an off night that is for sure, they were second best and no matter how many straws I clutch at there is little to add to that summing up.   Recent results have proven they are better than this and perhaps this kick up the arse is more valuable than a few recent wins. It will stop them resting on their laurels and show that there is still a lot of work to be done.  They are at home next, I wouldn't be surprised if they meet their opponents on the rebound, it happens more often than not!  Now I just need my head to ping back into a decent place - where's them pills?