Saturday 15 February 2020

DENTED IN THE WIND

15th February 2020 - Denton Town 0 v 1 Parklands FC - The J W Walton Cup was the theme today, a tie to be played at a neutral ground (namely Avro's Vestacare Stadium) with a quarter final place up for grabs.  Storm Dennis was on its way, I know a few people called Dennis, they are all bastards so this storm was looking set to be a real mischievous imp.  After a short drive we arrived at the ground and caught up with Denton Dave and his mate Rob Nicholson.  Hopes were far from high of a decent turn-out and when less than 20 neutrals turned up it seemed those lowly expectations were proven.  I presume that the wind was keeping all wig wearers, willy waggling flashers and sub-5 stone people indoors due to obvious danger but I did expect a good show from the more obese areas of society - perhaps there was a Pie Convention on nearby or Delia Smith was doing a nude cookery show on TV - darn those freckled titties.  Hey ho, myself and my good lady were in attendance and eventually found a wind-blown perch, wrapped up warm and watch the following escapade unfold.  

From a relatively quiet and somewhat tentative start the first dig at goal came via Denton's No 8 (Harry McLellan) who looked rather miffed to only fire straight at the keeper after have a fair amount of space.  The Parklands pack settled, they tried to play many threaded balls and maintain possession but on several occasions fell a little to easily into the offside trap.  The team did manage to eventually summon a liquid move with a choice cross-field touched on, passed to No 3 (Stuart Brady) who lashed and saw the keeper neatly palm over the horizontal.  The resultant corner was ruined by the gales - it wasn't the last angled hoof to be effected in this way.  

The impetus of the game was growing, Parklands came on again with No 2 (Adam Donohue) retrieving the ball in the corner, passing back to No 7 (Jeff Gleave) who delivered and saw Brady hit his effort wide.  Denton were still battling away, their No 6 (Lewis O' Connor) exhibited some good strength, shrugged off his markers and from the space made sent in a shot that was just outside of the upright.  Immediately we went up the other end of the pitch with Gleave having time to shoot but only hitting the man between the sticks.  

This was still a touch and go affair, the first goal was getting more and more important.  Denton's No 11 (Mike Bennett) had a run and shot that was deflected behind for a corner. The ball from the angle was posted onto the belfry of the incoming No 2 (Yannick Le Gal) who could only make an attempt that was all to easy for the hand-padded protector of the mesh.  From here the Town started to monopolise as the opposing pack became somewhat ragged.  Unexpectedly, Denton were robbed of the globe, No 9 (Mikey Corrigan) for the PL squad was released, had the mittman to beat but failed to do so with the said gloved guardian doing just enough to save his side's bacon.  Soon after the same attacking bod was away again after slipping his marker.  He duly rounded the keeper and sent the ball goalward, alas Le Gal for The Town was in the way and denying the opening strike.  A late flourish from Denton saw McLellan fire at the keeper (again) and a then a free-kick get hoofed straight out of play.  

For the interval me and my missus stood up and hugged the rear of the stand so as to avoid a soaking.  The bar was shut so no warm drinks were available - these are hard times for Non-League Noodles - dust and fresh air it was then.  The teams soon came back out, from the off Parklands attacked.  The ball went into the box, No 8 (Jake Larkin) fed Corrigan with the final shot off target.  

The conditions now collapsed with the players struggling along and trying to make the best of matters.  Parklands won a corner, the ball was played in with a header seeing the ball drop at the feet of Corrigan who swung his shank and watched the globe get deflected into the back of the net - it was an untidy strike but they all count...and, it had been coming.  

Not long after the restart Denton won a corner that was fired in low and nearly turned into the net by a rather surprised defender.  The next corner was hoofed behind - ooh that wicked wind and those wanky toes - what a combo!  The energy continued, Parklands advanced, a whistling cross saw No 14 (Max Callan) get his knickers in a knot and fail to finish and then Denton bounced back, Bennett delivered, No 9 (Jake Massey) touched on and No 10 (Liam Turner) buried albeit from an offside position which was noted by the kestrel-eyed referee.  Soon after Turner got his cranium on a cross and had a chance to score from a legal position - the outcome though was off-target.  

The rain now fell as a spiteful wind-whipped liquid javelins, a battling period ensued from which Denton lost the ball in defence and in swept Corrigan for the leading team and looked set to kill the game stone dead.  The opposing keeper did his bit once more, the lad was keeping his team's hopes alive that was for sure.  

A few robust tackles were now flying in, a member of the Denton bench was booked for verbal activity, the game was entering the final throes and desperation and determination were the order of the day.  Despite the trailing squad busting many a bollock Parklands FC took on the stature of a highly aroused nob and remained firm and upright.  In fact the team with the advantage had a chance to score when Larkin had time and space on his side.  The shot was against the wind, the ball went wide, I think it would be unjust to blame the conditions in this instance.  A few more coughs and splutters, some time-killing antics by Parklands and that was that, the one goal had been enough and with the wind up their arseholes both teams wandered off - one set laden with smiles, the other radiating a rather 'fucked-off' aura.  Man of the Match was given to Parkland's No 4 (Sam Gleave) who was just a trustworthy and focused rock in the rear, a real fly in the ointment for the opposing attackers and a player who certainly read the ball and did what he had to do when required.

FINAL THOUGHT - Denton Town came, huffed and puffed but the Parklands' house would not be blown down.  It was a close game but for me the losing team just failed to create enough chances, never settled in the testing conditions and, may it be said, had their minds on a forthcoming final that was indeed, of loftier importance.  They could still have sneaked through here but they were up against a side who just wanted it more and who had far more creative juices flowing at the sharp end of play.  I did think Denton's O' Connor and their keeper (Mark Dilnutt) had very good games and are one's to watch in the future.  Parklands came today with a plan to work hard and feed the ball forth as quickly as possible.  In truth, they could have had a bagful if the strikers had their true shooting boots on but, at the end of the day, they bagged the crucial goal that saw them progress into the next round of this somewhat obscure cup.  Who the bloody Hell is J W Walton, is he a relation of John-Boy and if so, will he please confirm that Jim-Bob didn't sexually molest that rooster - it has been bugging me since the late 70's - gobble, gobble, cluck, cluck!

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