Wednesday 14 October 2020

2 GAMES IN, STILL NO WIN

12th October 2020 - Stockport Town 1 v 1 Abbey Hulton United - Today I had been stuck in.  A morning of microscopy updated yesterday's fungal list to 87 species which wasn't too bad considering many common growths were missing.  During the close-up encounters with the spore-producing specimens I was interrupted by a phone call from Jiminy Cricket who threatened to sue me if I carried on revealing snippets about Pinocchio's dabblings with a Yorkshire stripper (see recent report from Wythenshawe Amateurs).  I told the little brolly lugging blighter to go boil an egg (as well as his wife's ovipositor) and stated that the truth needs to be exposed.  You see the perverted puppet with the pecker of wood went on a stag do in Hartlepool and ended up in a liaison with a disrobing lady from the Crippled Cretin's Drinking Mans Club.  Madame Vulvaowskyzi from, aptly enough, Krakow (think about it) was a willing partner to the mauling marionette but, during some fumbling tomfoolery, fell victim to splinterisation from a rather battered and rather fungally infected prodder.  A court case followed, the righteous Judge Giblets sentenced the timber-todged deviant with crimes against decency and told him to get his nob sanded and varnished.  The case was filed under the 'Pole to Pole' incident and I suppose is now best left forgotten - so there ya go and up yours Jiminy!

The rest of the day I rattled away at various chores, had a read of 'Dr Who and the Time Warrior', watched some shite TV and had a couple of Hot Pots.  I am back in work tomorrow, one needs to live like a king when one can.

I was dropped off at the ground a good hour before kick off, met up with STP Stu and after noting the hole-in-the-wall was closed for the night we picked our viewing points.  On paper this looked destined to be a home win, Stu opted for 3 - 1 to the hosts, I went for 4 - 2 but, in truth, I was happy for the best team to win and the game to be a belter.  We were also joined by good folk Sandra and Gareth Evans - they also went for a home win, it seemed the hosts were well and truly jinxed tonight.

On artificial ground the inflated orb was hoofed, the first pack of players to advance with purpose was The Town who were playing some slick football and passing with great pace.  A long ball came which No 10 (Tyler Ferguson) took down with eye-catching ease.  The touch that followed was precise, No 9 (Aaron Knight) gathered and sent forth a shot which the keeper gathered at the second attempt.  From here the hosts were dictators of the tempo and looking the ones to most likely break the deadlock.  No sooner had these thoughts transferred themselves from cranial gunk to well-scribbled paper than Knight and Ferguson were linking up again, pushing the ball out wide whereupon No 2 (Chiek Thiam) collected, cut in and walloped home like a well-season marksman - what a lovely opening strike and a great set-up for the game ahead.

Abbey Hulton now needed to get a grip and get a grip mighty soon.  An advance came, the outcome was only a corner after a trigger had not been pulled at the right time.  The ball from the angle entered the box and went in, out, in, out before No 9 (Nathan Mellor) tried to shake things all about with a hopeful attempt on goal.  The shot from the edge of the box was wild, the only thing troubled by the booming ball was a passing Night Owl and not the man between the sticks.  Shabby!

The game became a keenly fought contest. The Town's workrate off-the-ball was tremendous, the Hulton rear guard concentration equally so.  Despite the host's holding the main cards they were kept at bay and only the industrious No 11 (Max Dickov) managed to squeak in a shot after a quality move but the effort just had a tad too much elevation.  Soon after the same player sped forth, put in a low sizzling cross that saw all hitmen arrive just a little to late on the scene.  Seconds later another spicy cross followed, the ball just fell on the wrong side of Knight's feet with no definite contact made.  

The game look settled at 1 - 0 when the Abbey pack summoned an onslaught with the apical end seeing a cross come and No 7 (Jordan Hall) arrive at the back post and fail to connect with the ball - by crikey that should have been the equaliser.  Immediately we went down the opposite end, No 7 (Lee Grimshaw) looked to have a golden opportunity to provide the ultimate counterpunch but was denied by a quality save.  The ball went loose, Dickov had a first time punt  - wide of the mark was the outcome.

Just prior to the half-time pea-tremble the home team had one more attack.  Some quite delectable play saw Grimshaw denied at the last once more and a corner soon after produce sour bugger all.  The break came, this was still anyone's game - Stockport Town had been in command but with only 1 goal to the credit the job was far from done.

The half-time break saw us stay put, the hole in the wall was, for some strange reason, not open tonight so no brews or choccy for we onlookers.  An odd one this seeing that COVID rules were in place and opening the hatch would seem to be an ideal opportunity to keep people away from one another and out in the fresh air.  Hey ho, the break flew by, we nattered and watched a nearby 5-a-side game unfold with sweating 50+ players having a go and enjoying themselves.  I was quite alarmed though when one greying gent nut-megged the keeper and celebrated by ripping off his Tena Pants and waving them above his head.  Talk about a 'golden shower'!

Half two, a good battling period welcomed all, Hulton were now of renewed belief and endeavour and were refusing to allow their opponents to carry on where they left off.  The next goal grew in value as the minutes ticked on and we entered the meat of the game.  The Town bustled about but only had a weak penalty shout and, in truth, were kept in check by the hard-working visitors.

The guests did enough to eventually earn a free-kick after a quite dazzling, steam driven run by the perspiring No 3 (Sam Wytcherley).   No 4 (Jordan Benton) took the helm, the ball was deflected over and the corner easily dealt with - the initial effort I felt, deserved more.  

Substitutions came each way as both teams looked to effect the stagnating dynamics.  No 11 (Kristian Parsons) for Abbey Hulton had the next pop at the perilous zone, the ball refused to go anywhere other than at the keeper's midriff.  Into the last 15 we hurtled with an absorbing match-up unfolding before our eyes.  No 14 (Jardel Depeiaza) and Dickov linked up for The Town with the latter player releasing a shot and getting clattered in the process.  No booking came and the shot was neatly saved - were we destined to stay as we were?

I felt as though there was a twist still to come and when I saw Hulton advance I wondered if this was the moment.  Wytcherley once again ruptured a nut in getting forward, the ball entered the box, went out and was duly re-delivered.   The hosts were not clearing with any authority and suddenly No 5 (Nathan Grice) fed on the scraps and bagged the fully deserved equaliser.  There were now only 7 minutes left on the clock.

During the closing stages there only looked like one side were going to grab the win.  Abbey Hulton were looking to provide the ultimate smash and grab finale but Stockport Town hung on and the spoils were eventually shared.  This had been a decent game, there were many good sweat-streaming stints but for me No 10 (Jamie Turner) of Abbey Hulton was a source of inspiration who battled like a bulldog but all the while played the game fairly and squarely and made sure his input was 100%.  His hustle and bustle upset the stride of the opponents, the general awareness was spot on and such midfield efforts as this will contribute to many more points earned throughout the campaign.

We watchers were pleased with the night's hoofings, we plan to return next Monday, in the meantime - well who knows?

FINAL THOUGHT - Abbey Hulton exhibited enough quality and effort tonight to prove that they will do fine this season in a league laden with tough games.  The exceptional effort and belief and the willingness to keep on working when under the cosh earned them a fine point and, with a little touch of luck, they could have maybe nabbed all three.  They have a good core of players here, the key is to keep them committed and loyal to the cause and hopefully good things will eventually happen.  Note had been made to see this lot again and we must get back down their place real soon - fingers crossed.  Stockport Town have flair, pace, great ability and huge potential but, if you don't put the ball in the onion bag when the opportunity presents itself then the tears will flow for all the wrong reasons.  Plans are big at this place, promotion talk is in the air but it won't happen unless a certain ruthless streak is instilled.   Despite this though they do play some sexy football, so sexy in fact one fan was noted to have a rather unseemly bulge down below that was either a prong of footballing love or a stolen Toblerone from the local papershop - there are some right perverts in Stockport.  Depsite this distraction I was not shaken from my belief that Stockport Town will be involved in many a good game this year and along the way will thump one or two teams who take them too lightly.  Cammell Laird are next to visit Lambeth Grove - they'd better be on it or else.

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