24th October 2020 - Partington Village FC 1 v 3 Denton Town - What a dreary day, those dishrag skies leaking grotty rain, the wind disrobing arboreal monoliths with uncaring abandon, the air holding a chill that pervades the marrow and just the general ambience of another year winding down and heading into those testing wintry months. By heck, tis enough to make one strip off, run down to the nearest butchers and perform indecencies with the cut-price giblets! To stay on the right side of sanity I make sure I keep busy and pop the necessary pills. The morn was spent updating the wildlife databases, cleaning the kitchen, knocking sweet merry Hell out of the punchbag and getting together a 'To Do' list for the coming week. As I peered through the window my initial plans didn't look to promising and an alternative option even less inspiring. In truth I could have easily crawled back in bed and snuggled up with an old Dickie Davies erotic novel - 'There's a Pipe in my arse with David Bryant' was tempting, 'Ping Pong Love with Desmond Douglas' equally so but if I did end up in a heap on the mattress 'Speedway Saddle Sores with Ivan Mauger' was looking especially enticing. Thankfully I avoided the lure of 70's sporting sex and headed out to football, were the nob would have to be tickled by some Non-League reality and the trousers would be dampened by rain instead of the other stuff that I leave to your rather sinister imaginations.
We arrived in good time, had a quick wander, saw a couple of fungi and then nailed the Express Cryptic Crossword in 20 minutes. Out for the game and the rain began with earnest persistence and teamsheets were kindly acquired from the amiable referee (take a bow Ian Cliff) who duly took a photo and e-mailed my way after the game - cheers mate.
The game eventually got rolling, albeit about 5 minutes late. 2 early corners for Denton saw a brace of headers follow and the home team act like a swarm of pubic lice when a certain powder is applied - they scurried and survived. Another ball was tossed forth by the visiting tribe, No 9 (Brad McLaughlin) used good strength and balance, beat his marker and got a shot away. The keeper stood his ground and made a solid save but soon after the home stickman was called into action again as No 10 (Shaq Lewys) let fly with an effort that lacked direction and was easily dealt with by the mitted man. The Partington pack were under early pressure and were being rushed. This situation led to the first goal as No 6 (Lewis Cooper) pilfered a Partington defender, played a cool ball to No 11 (Mauro Mendez) who touched, darted and sweetly slid the ball into the net.
With the opening goal in the bag Denton now played with exceptional impetus and rained forth. The Village lads were on the back foot looking for scraps and had a dig via their No 12 (Reece Thompson) who couldn't keep the ball below the horizontal. An angled kick for the guests was the next. No 5 (Cole McGrath) was at the back post, nutted and claimed handball. The man in black was having none of it and ordered another corner kick from which bugger all was had. As the travelling unit maintained ascendancy the fact remained that they were only 1 goal to the good and that is always a precarious position to be in. The situation was soon proven to be unstable as the hosts pushed, No 9 (Josh McVety) was in a cornered position of little hope but still somehow managed to squeeze in a cross. From a small snippet of space No 2 (Dean Ashford) popped up and buried in the bottom corner with little fuss. What a bonus for a team striving for a foothold.
The half raced on, this was a decent contest despite the somewhat shite conditions. From the midst of the murk Denton's Lewys bounded on, carved his way through the defence like an electric sausage through a gathering of addled eggs and sent forth a low, well struck shot. The keeper saved his side's bacon but seconds later the same frontman was trying to upset the beans again with another shot that duly bulged the netting. It looked like a further splash of sauce had been added to a tasty game but the man in the middle said offside and threw forth a dollop of sobering salt (apologies for these breakfast-based comparisons, the weather was making me peckish) and the goal was ruled out.
The Villagers still worked away, 3 shots on the bounce came, the best of which was by Thompson who wasn't too far off target. The Town were quick to counter, Mendez provided a dazzling pass, McLaughlin darted in with the keeper to beat, the save that came was brilliant. In the blink of an eye the saviour was sent into the bin of sin due to some overexcited dissent - oh the silly bugger.
The final action saw Denton progress, McLaughlin and Lewys linked up, the move was polished, the ball in oozing pace. The defence stood firm and made sure matters stayed as they were for the interval - we were seemingly on for a very close contest.
The break saw myself and my good lady invade my soggy bag (now, now) and partake of the flasks of warming liquid. It was ruddy needed and a wise pre-match move to bring these vessels of thermal salvation. Alas we forgot a change of clothes, a hot water-bottle and a DIY inflatable dug-out to keep us dry - bastard!
Half-two saw Partington come out fast and with a glow in their legs. Some swift passing was finalised when No 7 (Ryan Mellor) walloped over - it was worth a punt. Denton began to turn a screw but they failed to benefit from the one man advantage. When the home keeper did come back on the Town won a throw in, the ball entered the box and some tossing about resulted in an overhead kick by No 6 (Lewis Cooper) - the ball went straight into the recently returned mittman's arms - he looked quite grateful.
The hosts now grew in confidence, this game was a real battle in the growing murk - the end result was far from certain.
Next action, Mendez for the guests weaved and remained as elusive as a freshly buttered eel with a bare electric wire up its arse. The defenders were left looking on, it was a shame the end pop at goal was ruddy crap. Soon after a move of effective simplicity came the same way as No 8 (Aaron Clayton) pushed the ball out wise, Cooper provided a cross and Lewys devoured the ground and arrived in time to strike the ball home - now that's good football.
The onus was now on the Partington pack to make the running. No 13 (Mike Dolan) gathered and played a pass to Mellor who put in a flick header. The keeper kept his orbs on the ball and saved well. A free-kick came at the same target zone minutes later but the effort was tame and the hosts had to rebuild once more. Alas the ball was soon out of play and it was Denton who had won the throw-in in an advanced position. The globe was tossed forth, Lewys collected and became instantly possessed. His eyes grew wide, his legs propelled him on a diagonal across the goal. The angle was just right for an outside-of-the-foot attempt which was executed with relative ease - this was a fine one man strike from nothing and put the game to bed.
The last minutes saw the rain belt down in an avalanche of liquid javelins and no matter how much the home ranks huffed and puffed Denton Town were always in control. The game eventually ended, one lot were drenched with delight, the other lot were just drenched. Man of the Match goes to Denton Town's No 8 (Aaron Clayton) and even though he got substituted late on when he was part of the game he displayed great alertness, played some sweet passes, was never afraid to jump in the trenches and get stuck in and provide a constant source of communication and encouragement - t'was grand to see.
We two neutrals soon pootled off slightly dampened but pleased with a fair game seen, next time we visit though we will check the ruddy forecast.
FINAL THOUGHT - Partington Village FC were placed under the billy-club from early doors and in truth never really seemed to get into their stride. Days like this happen and next time they need to make sure they leave the traps like whippets with a dose of the shits. Saying this the positives came via the 'never-say-die' attitude, the ability to squeeze in a chance from nothing and the fact that they kept the bonses down and stayed focused. Sometimes the ball doesn't run the way you want it and the team you are playing are just better on the day - tis how you bounce back that matters. Denton Town are looking a complete unit now and, to be fair, should have scored more than they did today. The team has a good balance of flair, solidity, head down focus and willing runners. All that is needed is consistency and for players to fully gel into one working pack. I can see the improvement with each and every viewing, this lot can be in the final shake-up come the end of the season, they just need to roll with the dips and make sure they ride the highs as long as possible. I think Denton Town are guaranteed top 4 finish (at least). Oh bugger it, my neck has been extended and is on the line. Take note though - Non-League Football has a great knack of making one look a right pillock - tis a feeling one has to get used to.
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