19th December 2020 - Avro FC 2 v 1 Squires Gate - It seems the recent COVID attack has left me jaded and I am still not 100% with a few complaints to gripe about. Nevertheless I had a short walk with the missus before the game and turned up early at today's ground to indulge in 2 brews, a plate of chips with a barm cake and have a natter with STP Stu. The Daily Express cryptic crossword was nailed in 15 minutes and the paper scrunched up immediately after. This rag is brought now and again for the crossword only, the news is negative or nonsense and so the rest of the paper is best binned or used for arse paper just like all the rest of these publications. I may start off my own daily effort - The Daily Ringpiece - open it up and the shit spills forth - at least it would be honest. Page 3 would be a let-down but there ya go, truth over tits every time.
As time raced on Stu and myself picked a viewing point and watched the teams unwind and people shuffle into desired safety zones, the marshals were on it, there was going to be no hugging and kissing on the touchline today (thank fuck for that, some of the locals did look a little past their sell-by-date).
At the appointed time the teams took up positions under fading skies with a pseudo-Exorcist soundtrack on loop in the background - the question today was 'Who would be exorcised' and 'who would be projectile vomiting the filth of disappointment' - read on you deviant desperadoes.
The start to the game was brisk, I suspect the nipping wind up the shorts of many players was a contributing factor, there be nothing worse than an icicle on yer nob. The Squires were wide awake and showing good spunkery with a corner duly won and delivered and No 9 (Kiernan Feeney) at the back post striving to score but just earning another angled hoof. The ball came, a strong bonse cleared but the guests soon won a free-kick with No 11 (James Boyd) posting and the home No 1 (Jordan Latham) keeping an eye on the globe and catching with ease. A swift break followed, the pace was electric, one pass and a shot was the outcome, the save was solid and from the resultant corner no penetration was had (God bless the mittman's chastity belt).
The game continued with a superfluity of vim. The Gate advanced, a stunning cross-ball found No 10 (Dean Ing) who tried to turn and twat in one fluent move. Contact was made with the incoming ball but the outcome was an attempt way off target. Avro counterpunched in double-quick time, a quick assault saw No 10 (Martin Pilkington) at the apex producing an effort the mitter was forced to save. A corner came, was prodded out but immediately redelivered with a back post header gratefully grabbed by the goalie. The home lads grew in stature, exposed a moment of sugar-sweet football that culminated in a cross met by the head of No 7 (Joe Rathbone). How he didn't bag the opening goal is beyond me - it was a real let off for the battling visitors.
Now the hosts turned up the thermals but their opponents were still good value. In fact the travelling pack won the next angled hoof which was sent in low and connected with a thumping drive. A lunging tackle came and blocked what seemed destined to be a cracking strike, we were now getting to be overdue a goal. No 9 (Liam Ellis) for Avro nearly provided due service but a header and a shot soon after lacked true gumption - we stayed as we were.
The game looked set for a half-time stalemate when a peach of a ball found the Gate's Ing who tidily chested down and walloped first time - the outcome, an attempt mere inches wide. Avro had one last effort before the break, the keeper quelled any threat and so we were left to chew the bare cud.
Half-time was swift, we stayed put, the COVID marshals were pootling about, the thought of queueing for a brew was too much and besides I had a Mars Bar to deal with. With the choccy swallowed, the head still spinning due to blocked tubes and the rain now threatening I was hoping the game would pick up a level and keep my noggin chipper.
Once again, the period started with the SG Squad out with a flourish. They gained good territory but couldn't make any crucial breakthrough as Avro looked fairly solid at the back. The skies now became perforated and the God of Flatulence helped the watery javelins fall with spite as a real storm drenched all and sundry. In the midst of the inclement turmoil a free-kick for Avro was hammered low and hard by their No 11 (Kane Wallwork) with the keeper doing remarkably well to save at the near post. The ball wasn't cleared and fell into the land of 'Come and get it'. Pilkington for Avro was quickest to react and popped up, mopped up and opened the day's scoring.
The restart came, the weather didn't abate and neither did the action. Squires Gate had a quick thrust, the final header went shy of the target. A free-kick came the same way, the ball was blasted into the driving rain and was deflected into the keeper's arms - the guests were up against it in many ways. The home team had a solid break next, Rathbone pounced on a loose ball with a snap shot that flashed past the upright. Within seconds the globe was flying once again toward the SG strike zone, a save followed and a corner given. The ball was posted with good whip, the tip over was more than adequate. Another kick from the angle saw the ball cleared with No 4 (Kyle Jacobs) for Avro sending back a pearling shot that produced a quite outstanding save from the No 1 (Daniel Eccles). This was great action, not bad for a horrible December day that saw many underparts wither and many a knee knock.
Despite driving headlong into the murky mire and trailing by a goal the guests still gave a good account of themselves but seemed to be given an impossible task. A header came from a corner but flew over and then a rapier-like break sliced Squires Gate in two, a low cross blazed into the box, a foot was stuck out and the visitor's day had taken another turn for the worse - an own goal and now two goals down - shit happens and sometimes in great stinking heaps.
15 minutes remained on the clock, scrambling came here and there with Avro looking to kill the game in various ways. The men from Blackpool cracked on, a ball out saw No 16 (Jack Iley) find space at the angle and bulge the netting with a low driller-killer - 2 - 1 - was there a Tale of the Unexpected on the cards - cue Roald Dahl music and a dancing naked woman (well perhaps leave ya knickers on love, it is a trifle parky).
The final countdown came, Avro had a sortie with Ellis having a shot half-blocked by the keeper and an on-line clearance needed. Moments later the same player had a shot over and then, on the very death, an Avro sub had a pop to try and bag a last gasp equaliser. The chance was there, the execution was lacking, the ball flew into the night sky and the game was called to a halt.
Avro, in truth, just about deserved this but today's Man of the Match goes to No 5 (Samuel Barratt) of Squires Gate who I thought had a really strong defensive game and was mightily unlucky to be on the losing side. He kept his eye on the ball, worked mighty hard and cleared up much potential danger with a quite cool head - I reckon there are many more good performances to come from this lad - keep it up chap.
FINAL THOUGHT - On a rank day, in the midst of viral madness and with many folk out on a spending frenzy with no reason why, it was good to get away from the shittery and watch some Non-League action again. The game, as per, was competitive and exposed two teams striving to play good football and make headway in a stuttering season. Squires Gate are no mugs, battle well, have a good set-up and have many components that will cause teams undue duress. I hope to get back up their ground very soon, it has always been an enjoyable excursion especially after a morn of coastal wild-lifing followed by a seaside Ice Cream. Avro today just came and did the business. On the day they were just a tad sharper and had the roll of the ball. They are currently joint top of the league, not bad for a team who have only played 100 semi-pro games and during this game bagged their 100th home league goal. There is much promise on the horizon and great potential ready to be tapped. The next game is against Irlam, one of my fave teams and one who will certainly test the Avro mettle. The game happens on Boxing Day and I reckon if you haven't had a Turkey Leg rammed up yer arse on Christmas Day or got you pubic hair entangled in the Parson's Nose (maybe literally ya nasty swines) then you should get on the touchline and see what transpires. I have plans for a different game and hopefully can keep my jacksie un-Turkified - once the festive sherry flows though you never know - slurp, gobble, ouch!
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