12th December 2020 - Denton Town 3 v 0 Maine Road Reserves - After another break from football we were glad to get back at it again with a jaunt to the Wright Robinson Sports College to see a game played away from the designated home ground (due to an iffy pitch) to a nearby all-weather surface so as to keep the ball actually rolling. I arrived early, as did STP Stu - victuals and a couple of brews were had as was a wander and a watch of several junior games that were going on. What a marvellous sight to see so many young 'erberts burning up energy, enjoying the game and keeping focused - by crikey it was a busy area with the recent restrictions banished and people just cracking on - it was ruddy heart-warming to see. With several digressions had we eventually located the pitch for today's entertainment and had a chat with a few faces from here and there. The game was destined to kick-off at sometime past 2pm, and so we waited, watched, waited and...waited. To be fair when the playing surface became free both units cracked on, had a quick warm-up and were soon ready to roll. My match report hand was out of practice and I picked up the pen with hesitancy whilst hoping I would have lots to scribble about without straining the old wrist. I once knew a guy who ended up overworking the said joint and ended up having a cerebral breakdown after trying to self-abuse via a clockwork limb - tick, tock, damaged cock - not for me thank you very much.
And to the game, with the hosting unit out with a good spurt and winning an almost instantaneous gratis boot. The delivery of the sphere was more than adequate, it was just a shame to not see one or two front bods attack the ball with any great conviction. A free-kick followed the other way, the delivery was sound with the Town No 3 (Josh Stachini) glad to see his defensive header go behind for a corner. The kick was posted with good clout, No 4 (Ben Pond) popped up in free -space and somehow managed to not even hit the target - now that should have been 0-1 for sure.
From here the Blue clad team moved on and adapted to the pace set. A lovely chip pass finalised a quick move with No 7 (Mauro Mendez) unfortunate to be denied at the last. Not long after and the same hustling component was battling away like a ferret with a freshly grabbed rabbit and after losing possession duly regained it and walloped, The shot was wide of the mark however and we stayed free of mesh bulging action.
The game exuded good balance, it was, so far at least, a competitive contest liable to go any way. The Dentoidians strode forth next, the move was pure liquid gold but a last ditch tackle by a defensive bod was equal to the task and straight from the top drawer labelled 'bloody marvellous' (just next to the pictures of yours truly in a Mankini by the way). A follow-up pop at goal came within the twitch of a clergyman's rectum (I do need to stop watching 'Songs of Praise') with No 9 (Brad McLaughlin) the executioner and No 1 (Ethan Handley) of the Road the bloke with the safe gloves.
Animation levels grew, the hosts came on. Mendez provided choice service for No 10 (Shaquille Lewys) to touch on and No 11 (Harry Rowan) to recklessly blaze over. Again the red shirted squad pushed with Lewys receiving the ball only a couple of feet out and somehow managing to fluff his shot and not even trouble the mittman - that was a stinker.
More chances arose, space was appearing in many zones, all that was needed now was a few players to don their sharp-shooting, real darn' tootin' striking boots. The tide eventually began to flow the way of the home team with Mendez having a golden chance to bury but lacking that decisive touch. Rowan cut a swathe soon after, the peg was swung and the ball flew towards the strike zone with accuracy levels high. The underside of the bar was clattered and the ball was cleared, a few shouts claimed it had crossed the line, I for one didn't think so but reckoned the effort did deserve a goal.
With the chill rising off the pitch, Denton turned up the thermals on it. Lewys had a pop, again the keeper answered all questions asked. Lewys began a new mission next, he barged like a rhino through a shop of porcelain vibrators (oh what quivering chaos) and the visiting defence trembled but offered little in the way of an orgasmic response. The rampaging brute was unceremoniously tumbled, the referee pointed to the spot and McLaughlin buried with complete simplicity - it had been coming.
The half now advanced to the break with haste, things were still competitive but the Road were on a knife edge. They nearly fell further behind when a Denton free-kick was hammered into the wall, the follow up shot by Stachini forced the the mitter to save and spill and Lewys had a golden moment to bury. The attempt was truly awful and it was the last scrawling my pen was to do during this first period.
The half time break was brief, as was my excursion to some nearby trees to expel the golden liquid. It was too nippy to indulge in some exhibitionist piddling so it was a case of produce, point, piss and put away - I am sure many locals were extremely grateful for the lack of pecker action.
Half two and The Road pushed from the off. The Denton keeper was caught playing silly buggers and going on a roam. A cross eventually came and No 11 (Zaid Baroudi) had a close-in header and the gloved fellow redeemed himself with a high quality save, 2 corners followed, Denton stayed safe.
Both teams kept things flowing in an open game but genuine chances were a rare commodity and when any side trespassed into a situation of danger the end result was some very poor decision making. The Town eventually applied some consistent pressure with their opponents forced into a position that was holding little threat. A corner came, was half-cleared with No 8 (Aaron Clayton) running in and booming the underside of the bar with a quite rasping shot. Again the referee said 'no goal', by heck was there going to be a twist in the tail of this game after all?
Denton carried on undeterred by their misfortune, McLaughlin produced a neat turn and twat with the ball palmed behind for a corner. The angled crack came low and hard, a touch came but again couldn't find the target. Onwards the team on top came, Maine Road were now in scamper mode and just hoping for any morsel of salvation. Suddenly the Blues failed to clear, Mendez collected, cracked one forth and into the net - 2 - 0 and for what I had witnessed thus far, it looked as though the game was done.
Primarily the traffic was now one way. Clayton for the Town had a shot on the turn that saw the keeper produce a dazzling save and then Mendez put a cross in that No 9 McLaughlin could only put over the bar. A couple of corners followed within minutes, the first was shite, the second met by the cranium of Lewys who was denied by an on-line block. The closing stages came, the Heavens darkened and rain loomed. Denton Town were looking to seal matters and thought they had done so when a fluent move was finalised by Lewys - alas the referee said no goal.
The icing on the cake eventually came with Lewys in the mix again. The said player shot, a save came but McLaughlin was quick to react and fed on the scraps like a shithouse rat on a turd. The globe was fired home, thank you very much and after Mendez had one last effort go close that was that and we were left to contemplate a fairly routine win. Man of the Match today goes to Denton Town's No 4 (Cole McGrath), a sincere calm rock at the rear who offered little in the way of chances to the opposing force and who exposed some great defensive composure when the need arose. When a team has such a reliable force at the back confidence surges throughout - it is a simple equation.
FINAL THOUGHT - A lovely journey out to a heartland of encouraging football mania for all ages - we need more places like this to keep folks focused and active. The game today, in retrospect, saw one team destined for promotion and one team in real need of some new thinking and on pitch purpose. Maine Road competed in parts but during the final third of the game looked a team out of ideas and set up without a hope of scoring. This surprised me, as the club from where they come are always worthy of time and have a good footballing ethos. What I saw today has me considering if this lot are faves for the drop, and if so, where do they go from here. There are many good components in the team though, it is just a case of getting them playing as one complete force.
Denton Town roll on, today wasn't the most convincing performance despite the score-line but these are the games that are crucial and when numerous chances are missed, the floodgates remain closed and fluency is lacking the fact that 3 points are still bagged shows there are many depths to this team and things are looking mighty bright. The only worry is the end decision making and the lack of assassins marksmanship. Chances, when arising, need to be buried as some teams will be less forgiving and take true advantage of any let off. Today Denton got off lightly, if they come up against a more clinical side they could be punished and punished hard. Having said all this though I am still sanguine in my belief that the team will rise to the next level - as ever, watch this space or even better still...get on the touchline.
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