Wednesday 31 August 2022

NO FUNGI BUT GOALS APLENTY

29th August 2022 - Euxton Villa 2 v 4 Chadderton FC - There ain't no rain and ye olde Fungalised git is getting frustrated.  I have walks to lead and everywhere I go the shrooms are not showing themselves.  A morn spent at Ainsdale Sands Lake produced no mycological magic so we (myself, missus and some friends) sought other things and were blessed with a Sand Lizard, some good galls, a few orthopterans and some blooms we don't see every week of the year.  I tried to fill up on liquids and piss here and there in the hope of encouraging spore-laden eruptions, I think I ended up polluting the local area instead (bastard). After a brew and chits and chats we headed to today's ground with myself, as per, crummy and unkempt after scrambling around here and there.  Upon arrival STP Stu was in situ (he's more reliable than the fungi) and after saying 'howdo', purchasing a brew and a pie we took up our positions and watched the game unfold.  This was a new ground for all three of us, it is good to have a change and hopefully spread the word of another Non-League outfit - it is just a small way of trying to put back.

The game began under cloudy skies and finished with a breeze blowing, alas no rain fell (aagghhh).  The first half opened with Chadderton pressing and Euxton providing a quick counterpunch.  No 9 (Matthew Davies) darted away and put in a fiery low cross that sizzled the daisies but was dealt with by an outstretched defensive shank.  The guest team though were unmoved and applied a goodly amount of pressure in a quite hectic start to the game.  A free-kick was eventually earned from the persistent mither, the result was something best described as 'utterly wank'.  The Chad Lads came once more, the ball went outward with No 11 (Cory Knight) making a nice touch and having a punt at the angle that was deflected behind.  The resultant corner had too much 'oomph' and left all awaiting assassins scratching their bonces in frustration.

The away team kept on forcing the issue, they were akin to a constipated cow trying to produce the reeking goods in order to please the dung collecting farmer known as Crapper O' Toole.  Another angled hoof was dealt with, a couple of crosses were followed by a bout of head tennis and then a free-kick came that No 5 (Malachi Clarke) connected with, but the header was off target.  

From the one-way traffic The Euxton crew went against the grain with the eager Davies chasing a lost cause and creating a kerfuffle. The ball rolled loose and No 2 (Kieran Mawdesley) had a pop that ended with the ball flying disappointingly over the bar.  At the other end two more kicks came from the corner with the first totally shite, the second better and dealt with. An immediate re-cross came, Clarke flicked the ball goalward with the host No 1 (Joshua Brooks) saving well.

The Villans pounced next, Davies worked hard, put the ball to the other side of the pitch and found No 11 (Joshua Briggs) who struck with sanguinity.  The ball left the boot from distance and was soon bulging the upper corner of the onion bag - 1 - 0 - what a glorious strike to witness.

From here Chadderton dug deep and strove to get back to parity but just fell shy at the last. Euxton indulged in a smooth passing sequence with the apical component of Briggs putting in a good strike that the keeper did well to push behind. From the following corner, No 4 (Jordan Schofield) could only nut over, it was a decent chance.  The hosts had their peckers up, Chaddy's No 3 (Joseph Richards) was dispossessed with No 7 (Dan Singleton) getting away and shooting wide.  The rebound from this latest scare saw the guest ranks create minor mayhem with several threaded balls that went this way and that before Knight dealt with matters and buried the equaliser.

The break was now beckoning, balance had been restored and things looked to be fairly settled for the interval.  Suddenly Chadderton pressed and earned themselves a corner.  The ball was whipped in, No 9 (Adam Dale) made contact with his ever available noggin - 1 - 2 it was and a fine turn around was complete.  The break came soon after, both teams deserved a rest methinks.

We stayed put and nattered whilst a breeze was welcome.  This had been a good game so far and the second half far from easy to predict.  All 3 pre-match predictions were still in with a chance, come full time though, would anyone lay claim to being a footballing prophet?

The second period began with Chaddy showing urgency and creating much mither for the hosts.  A cross-ball came and found the mercurial No 7 (Mauro Mendes) who dinked and wriggled, cut in and fired a shot that was just off target. The mounting trouble grew for the home team, a response was had with a good lather made and a corner won.  The ball was delivered long. No 4 (Ethan Darr) was waiting at the back stick and 2 - 2 it was.

Chadderton refused to take this insulting penetration lying down (unlike Joan Collins and similar stars with spring-loaded legs).  The team responded by building up a good lather with Mendes bursting into the box and getting up-ended.  Penalty was the decision, Schofield strode up and coolly got his team back in front.

The game now became a busy and bustling affair with the leading pack looking to cement matters and the trailers keen to claw their way back into things.  Euxton tried to force the issue, Davies had a shot cleared off the line, corners and free-kicks came but Chadderton stood firm,  An angled kick against the flow came, Euxton were found wanting and after a defensive mix-up No 8 (James Purfield) slammed home on the turn and gained his side an all important cushion.  It was nearly 2 - 5 after a defender/keeper mix up and then Euxton came on with the closest attempt via Darr who trembled the upright (phwoar).

The closing stages saw another last ditch clearance by the guests, Euxton's impressive Davies chip the keeper and hit the framework and a few half chances come either way and disappear into the overall animation.  The game ended with the points taken back down Oldham way and Euxton rueing missed chances and licking their wounds.  Man of the Match goes to Chaddertons No 4 (Jordan Schofield) a stalwart at the back, confident and tidy and having the gift of a goal on an all-round productive day - not bad at all.

FINAL THOUGHTS - I thought that the whole Euxton Villa set up was a grand do today and the atmosphere of the place and the general surroundings are all persuasive to us visiting again. The team have several good players, one or two with notable experience and an attitude to crack on that is highly commendable.  Today they were slightly careless in conceding 4 goals and really should have had a draw out of this game.  The final thrustings displayed a desire that, if used earlier, could have altered the end result - maybe next time.  Chadderton now stand at position 2 in the First Division North.  Success has been a long time coming but this could be their year.  They are a well organised team with options aplenty but as per, to keep the points coming they will have to stay highly disciplined and keep their heads held high when on the back foot.  Today they showed a good resilience and may just be one of the teams to be reckoned with as the season progresses - a trip back to The Falcon Fire Stadium is long overdue.  If I hear there be fungi growing on the pitch I shall be there as quick as a flash - Stinkhorns and Soccer - what a combo.

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