ATTACK OF THE PEA SOUP PERIL

7^th November 2026 - Halewood Apollo 2 v 3 Thornton Cleveleys - The year is flying by and the madness that is Christmas is already addling heads.  Consume, consume and then go boom is all the rage as the planet is pillaged and the crackpot populace point fingers, serve self and in the main, do nothing.  We were up early and out with the aim being to meet 2 fine folk we know, have a chat, a wander, a coffee (or two) and record some wildlife. Spike Island was the area explored, a place we know well and another realm that is getting increasing footfall and thus more careless disturbance, less respect and more trampling, litter and dog shit.  It is still worthy of a jaunt and we pootled, wagged the jaw and saw a fair range of species although bird life is, like everywhere, declining at a shocking rate.  Loss of habitat, too many dogs, too many chemicals, a general ill health of the environment, cats, manicured gardens and of course, we pesky humans on the take.  Tis darn hard to stay positive, but we gotta do what we can and a little seed was scattered along the way whilst looking for fungi and life under logs.  

Time waltzed on, it was soon footy time, and of course it was Non-League all the way with a trip to a nearby place none of us had visited before.  We arrived, paid our dues, it was an area void of greenery or naturalness - hey ho.  Concrete spills, ultimately kills, to get by we need more pills. Insanity is still winning it seems, staring at a screen does indeed negate.  Anyway, to the game:- 

Gasbagging and scribbling are not the ideal combo but as the game began it was more than apparent that the guests were holding the greater part of the early possession.  The hosts had the first strike at goal though with No 8 (John McGrath) weaving in and sending forth a shot that was weaker than the urine flow of a bladder-buggered sloth.  No 5 (Lewis Walmsley) had a pop the other way which had more welly but the direction was so poor that an overhead shitehawk was nearly taken down - crikey.

Thornton Cleveleys came on next, a sugar sweet pass saw the home No 5 (Jordan Barrow) stretch a leg and realise he was just a little too short to make a tackle.  No 10 (Jacob Gregory) was on it, had a quick peek at the strike zone and guided the ball home with the skill of a marksman - a quite convincing goal for sure.  

The game now moved into a realm where both units cancelled each other out but the guests advanced with Gregory showing good strength to shrug off his marker and a quick thinking noggin to chip the keeper.  The globe rose, fell and pinged off the bar with an incoming bod nutting home - alas it was a case of offside anyway and we stayed as we were.  Halewood Apollo pushed back but just lacked the finishing gloss.  The trailing team's No 6 (Jack Dunn) did muster a crack at goal but the keeper was solid, well-positioned and gathered with ease.

As the home ranks grew into the game the best they could come up with was a skewed shot by their No 3 (Jonathon Stocks).  From here the TC team raced forth, Gregory played the ball, a cross by No 7 (Jacob Aspinall) was fizzed into the perilous zone and No 9 (Joshua Winder) arrived to touch home and double his sides lead.  From the restart Halewood pounced with a ball played to McGrath who collected and delivered with No 9 (Daniel Atkins) rising, making a delicate contact and sending the ball against the inside of the post and into the net.  A fine response, an easy goal, was the cranial purchase intended to be so gentle?

The game now developed, the hosts were doing well to hang on in.  A few flourishes at either end, a yellow card issued, a sneaking mist was making its presence felt as well as a touchline chill that was growing more noticeable by the minute.  The referee blew for the break, the game was nicely balanced.

No movement for the interval, too busy to queue for a brew, I couldn't be arsed to pass any golden liquid as it was the warmest thing in my body.  A chat with a fungal face I know, all regarding the intricacies of ID and the nuances of a realm unfathomable.  

Half two began with McGrath for the hosts having a fair punt that was mere inches off target.  Thornton Cleveleys galloped forth in response and into a nasty murk they headed but no success was had.  McGrath tried his luck again at the other end, still the target was not found and No 11 (Owen Hough) was also off the mark with a shot that should have tested the gloved one.

It looked as though matters were going to level out when McGrath gathered again, slowly advanced with the defense noticeably backing off.  The sights were set, the leg swung and the ball propelled forth with the bottom corner found.  This was a lovely strike that left the keeper with little chance and clutching at bracing air - what a way to equalise and throw the puss amid the peckers.

The game now seemed to move at a good pace as I nattered, looked on and scribbled,  The guest No 3 (Oliver Leggett) tested the keeper who remained firm and soon after the stickman was required to answer another question, this time asked by Gregory who put forth a sound wallop that was saved with style.  After more huff and puff Halewood came on with No 2 (Connor Courtnell) surging and firing but failing to keep the ball below the timber.  The next goal was becoming increasingly important and it was looking like it could go either way when the visitors ploughed forth, Gregory received and made space before slamming the sphere home and getting his sides hooters back in front.

The sands of time were dwindling, Thornton Cleveleys held the upper hand with 2 more shots bringing out a couple of quality saves.  The fog now advanced like a creeping malevolence looking to swallow all in its unforgiving path.  From the grim grey I saw Atkins for the resident pack make space, fire and watch the keeper make a choice save.  My peepers were now struggling, the silhouettes were fading into fuzz and the referee halted the game.  A lengthy discussion was had, the players tried to keep warm and the onlookers pondered with perished parts.  The game looked to be back on and then it was not - the match was abandoned and with only 13 minutes left it was time to grab a brew, bugger off and ponder what might have been.

On, off, on off - and home we go

Man of the Match goes to the home No 8 (John McGrath) who was a vitality laden bod with an eagerness to be noted and a game changing stance that will serve the team well.  Just a little work on the end decision making perhaps but this was a decent run out that kept his side in it.  

We beetled off after a long day, it was a slow drive home and we were fagged.  Tha' gotta get art and abart and pootle here and there or one will seize up - the key now is to start wrapping up a little better.

FINAL THOUGHTS - A new ground, one of those sports facilities that lack character but are there to help teams do what they do, build a community and keep things ticking.  The teams on show today were looking to build on a promising start and are best viewed in the same breath.  Each unit has potential to build on but I can't help thinking that they just need to tinker here and there and just add a little depth.  Both are in the top 6 but it will take some serious work to stay there in a league that is both unforgiving and very unpredictable.  The key for both is to hit a rich vein of form and bury teams when opportunity arises, this is all easier said than done.  If I were a gambling man I would hold back laying out any dosh on a promotional success for any team but we shall see?  The run up to the festive period will be interesting, will any of these teams flourish, flounder or get distracted by the commercial corruption that will addle brains, see more shit brought, wasted and added to the pile of bilge or will they earn a good Christmas Pud and get a Boxing Day bonus - I know not, but I do know that focus is the key and Santa Claus and all that piffle will hopefully, be avoided.  Keep it real folks, avoid the flow and enjoy some lower league footy!