The commencement of the affair was rather sketchy, similar to the conscience of your local MP no doubt or the comedic talent of Dougie Brown. Eventually the Nomads won a free-punt after No 10 (Leon Grandison) was bundled to the floor. A delicious cross followed and although no takers took up the spherical offer this moment led to a good bout of pressure that kept Crewe on the rear peg. No 8 (Kieran Herbert) put in some good touch work, Grandison was upended again and a bonus ball was put into the zone of peril and once more no killer contact was made. Had the ball picked up a nasty virus and the striker's were averse to catching anything - surely not that Global Pox again! The Crewe crew rode the tide and won a gratis boot of their own but, when the ball came and spent too long in the air, offside was duly called after a weak nut on goal. A long Nomad ball came next, No 9 (Rick Tindall) was on the end of it and tried an intelligent but slightly impudent lob - it went...off target. Soon after a fine midfield tackle opened the gateway for another homeside attack. It culminated in a shot for No 7 (Liam Millen) who, rather than hit the net, took the arse feathers of a passing Shithawk and left many hopefuls...deflated. Herbert had another side-footed attempted soon after but went shy of the mark and from here the Crewe lads were given reason to believe and started to creep back into the battle.
As things became more competitive Crewe forced a Nomad midfield error after the home team's options were limited. The visiting team were given time to knock the ball around on the edge of the box which led to No 8 (Sam Roberts) releasing one, albeit into the meat of the keeper's carcass. Soon after the hosts gave the ball away again, No 9 (Nathan Southern) collected and advanced with purpose. He eventually swung the shank and propelled the ball at a slightly out-of-position keeper. The home No 1 (Aaron Tyrer) did well to recover and make a neat save. The next erection of excitement arose when a Cheadle free-kick was sweetly played, Tindall rose to nut on and a final dose of triumphant goal-scoring Viagra was added via the crust of Herbert who readily rippled the mesh. 1 - 0 to The Nomads, it had been a long time coming and therein a sexual innuendo is found. From here the visitors looked to settle and were darn fortunate not to go further behind when Grandison was, on a brace of occasions, only inches away from making contact with a couple of dazzling crosses. From here the host's showed good composure, a free-kick saw No 11 (Joe Cambell) send in a bender only to find the keeper's guts and then a couple more crosses flash into the box and just lack that necessary coup de grace! The referee had seen enough, the half-time break was granted, things were nicely poised I thought!
During the break the uretha was dilated and golden torrents cascaded onto shit-stained enamel before the Englishman's drink was purchased and sipped whilst strolling back to my perch and noting a few wild flowers along the way - Thyme leaved Speedwell; Slender Speedwell and Ivy Leaved Speedwell making up a fine trio of the Veronica family!
Period the second began with the Linotype lads carrying on from where they left off. They worked hard to create another flow of pressure but after a brief break for a ball-in-the-mush injury Crewe came from nowhere, put in a low cross on which Southern pounced and finished in sugar-coated style. It was against the flow, it put the game rump over breast, the conkers of intrigue were clashing! The Nomads reacted to this shocker with red light urgency and a ball soon found Campbell who hot-footed inwards, side-footed the globe towards goal and was denied by an efficient save. Tindall tried his luck next with a hammer-heavy free-kick but the ball flew high into the sky. Crewe countered, a free-kick came, Southern was up challenging and the ball fell to No 11 (Nathan Dyer) who flashed a volley that was deflected behind. A corner flew in, No 10 (Harry Ashworth) nutted with passion but again the ball, like the dog of John Noakes and the Knickers of Hilda Ogden, refused to stay down. At the other end of the field yet another free-kick was awarded, this time Butler thumped with fervour, the underside of the bar was bruised, the ball descended with pace, alas at this level there was no video-replay available and we all had to settle for the referee's opinion - no goal.
The game was now ablaze, both teams sniffing the loins of victory. The home team came again with a choice move, Herbert starting it, Grandison finalising matters - side netting struck. This was now end to end stuff, both teams upping the tempo. Next and Herbert fed Tindall, the shot came, the far upright was missed. Once more the hosts progressed, a cross was glanced on, Butler dashed in and nutted straight at the keeper - another opportunity blown. Campbell had the next punt, it was a better effort and brought a good save from an underfire mittman. The finish was becoming increasingly hectic, Crewe were absorbing the avalanche and looking to spit back with spite. Alas the Cheadle chaps would not be denied and put together a delicious sequence that saw 4 players mix it up and eventually get rewarded with a corner kick. The delivery of this angled effort was decent enough but Butler could only connect and bang wide. Out of nothing a ball came into the Crewe box and had plenty of elevation. The keeper came to fist clear, he missed and the ball went loose and up stepped No 7 (Liam Millen) to snatch a quite simple goal. The pressure had paid dividends, the lead was thoroughly earned. From here the Linotype Mob saw matters out but not before a corner was had, the ball went in, out and back in and was sent into the back of the net by No 4 (Liam Donaher). It was game done and dusted, Crewe had been busted and all in all the result was mighty fair. Man of the Match today goes to Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomad's No 6 (Terence Butler) for a stint that oozed effort, desire and energy as well as some tidy passing, overall alertness and game awareness - spot on squire! I duly wandered home at the pace of a snail and was greeted by my good lady and a Holly Blue butterfly in the garden, I can't complain.
FINAL THOUGHT - Yet again, another match at this local venue fulfils the Non-League needs with both teams putting in a quite honest shift and granting all and sundry with a game to enjoy. At this level the teams need all the support and help they can get so anyone who makes the effort is very well received, something I certainly felt and am very appreciative of. The Linotypers play a good game, they move the ball well, have some real work-horses in their ranks and some definite position-assured players who look quite at home in their role. Crewe FC I have seen a few times and are far from a poxy unit. They also push the ball around well and have some good sets of feet in their ranks, their downfall now and again may be the fact that they over-elaborate and perhaps don't offer enough options when in possession. Regardless of my thoughts though, I will be catching up with them again and wishing them all the best. So, match report 97 of the season done, why the need to put back, well if people at grounds like this can get stuck in and present us with such fine entertainment the option to do nowt is not one I like to take. I was sent another picture during this match, tis the Manager doing his bit above the call of duty - DIY hey, ya can't beat it!
And once again, cheers to all who read these things, very decent of ya.
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