THE ROAD LEADS...

30th April 2018 - Maine Road 0 v 2 Widnes FC - The weekend had been busy, a footy match, chasing one's rear and a trip to Wales looking at fungi, flowers and birds.  I woke up with a cold, the carcass was aching and the spirits low but it was my day off work so a bit of fungal identification, exercise and decent eating made sure I was fighting fit to attend tonight's match. Maine Road get a few viewings a season by my fungalised self and are a constant source of bewilderment and unpredictability.  They now find themselves on a slope that could lead to a drop if crampons of determination aren't used.  To those ill-versed in mountaineering talk, crampons are not sanitary towels for people with genital-based gout (I thought I had best clear that one up).  Widnes FC on the other hand are another team I have viewed several times and are a group of players who never fail to impress - a very well-organised machine akin to the bowel-system of Lance Corporal Jack Jones after a monster brawn and Schlitz beer bender and receiving a note that informs 'The Germans Are Coming'!  So, after pondering the ponderable points of the night I would be a darn fool not to go for an away win but...like I said earlier, Maine Road never fail to bewilder and are not easy to predict, this could be a cracker for sure.  Tea purchased, STP Stu met, seats taken, cop a load of this then!

The early play was somewhat tepid but the first heat came via a Widnes break that saw a corner and a sizzling cross exude potential but end up with no finalising execution.  A crackle began to rise, No 10 (Chris Lomax) for Widnes went on a weaving sortie and exhibited feet too quick for the home defense - a free-kick was given.  The execution was woeful, but the guests soon came again with No 9 (Ben Hodkinson) luckily gaining a foot or two of space and running direct on goal.  The shot that came was decent enough, the save was of the same calibre - no early breakthough was had.  The Road refused to buckle to these early demands, No 11 (Matthew Morgan) put in a fine cross, a first time volley ensued, but the impact between foot and ball was far too weak to trouble the netman.  Widnes pushed once more but the tidal wave was held as Morgan stroked a lovely ball to No 9 (Jack Coop) who should have shot first time but dillied and dallied and let the chance go begging.  Morgan regained the ball and with ill-patience cracked one over the horizontal.  No 11 (Jack Banister) for the travelling team came next, swift work down the wing and a cross brought a handball claim that may have held some weight but the official said 'no' and that was that.  The Whites came again soon after and did find that net after No 5 (Michael Grogan) nutted home from a sweet ball in.  Alas he also sent the keeper into the net as well and a foul negated the strike and kept the scoresheet bare.

This was a game that was getting difficult to call but Widnes seemed to be having the slight edge.  They came again, 2 fine crosses were had, the second of which was met by the globe of No 6 (Steve Akrigg) who was on target but denied by a sturdy on-the-line clearance.  Soon after another ball into The Blues' box saw keeper and defender cross wires, the ball pinged and thankfully missed the gaping net.  The corner came and the ball in was shit.  Another corner came and that ball in was shit.  I hate reverting to basics but the descriptions given are quite apt and would old up in any courtroom!  Widnes now had their tails up, No 4 (Kevin Pollard) ended one move with a fair snap-shot - it wasn't too far off the mark.  From the next advance however, the side on the rise were caught on the hop and a Road ball put Coop in the clear with only the last man standing to beat.  The shot eventually came, we watched, we expected, we farted out a blast of disappointment as the ball found sky rather than mesh - pass me some new undies vicar.  The next action saw No 2 (Jay Roberts) for Widnes work hard and hammer a cross in that the home No 1 (Ryan Livesey) cleared via an unorthodox Kung-Fu kick.  The Road soon built from here and put together an eye-catching move that saw 4 passes end via the feet of No 7 (Jack Langford) who punted just shy of the target zone.  A long ball by Widnes was played to help ease the pressure, Lomax grabbed in the box and was tumbled. A penalty was given and duly belted by the usually reliable Hodkinson.  The save that came was not from the text book but was solid as a rock and kept the home lads still in this intriguing affair.  A late shot for the visiting Banister went wide and we were done.

Half-time - a cuppa, a chinwag with Stu and local football dabbler David Potter was had.  Mr Potter was akin to Liberace on a Saturday night out, scouting for talent - albeit in a more respectable way of course (he says hopefully).  A decent chap and keen to get back at the helm, the sooner he his back at the forefront the better methinks.

Seats retaken, the second period was underway.  The early action was frantic, Widnes had the first chance with No 8 (Stuart Cook) looking to pull the trigger. He dawdled, was firmly tackled, the mittman stepped in and grabbed - it was time to gather one's gonads and get this game dealt with.  A free-kick came for the guests soon after, a nut across required attention and was cleared - just!   Another gifted boot came next, a cracking ball in was the result, out it went, a foul came, it was duly ignored as advantage was played and then No 7 (Kevin Towey) collected, drove forth and cracked one into the net.  Wallop - pick that one out, 0 - 1 - and thoroughly deserved.  Widnes followed this strike with another attack that was thwarted by a foul.  Repeat situations came, the Road picked up 3 bookings and were looking in disarray - thankfully all danger passed and Road had a chance to steady the sinking ship.  A golden chance to get this match back on level terms was had, Coop was in again with the keeper to beat - once more a wild blaze over was the result - what a shame.  Widnes kicked back, another decent cross in, Lomax with a point blank shot - a cracking save kept the flesh on the arse of the home teams hopes, it was getting mighty tender though, The Whites were rising in confidence.  Banister had the next effort, the shot was firmly struck but had too much fade, keep thee head down fella and control the club-head - so sayeth, in his usual double-entendre based style, that homosexual golfer I met at the Magic Wand Invitational - I never knew balls could be put in a hole like that before!  The same bod had another effort soon after when Towey put one over the top.  The connection was sound, however the inside of the sticks was missed yet again - bah.

Into the back stretch we went, The Road were resisting well but when Towey nodded on and Lomax sent in a curler for Widnes I thought the second strike was on the cards - ooh, outside of the post the ball flew - now that was close.  Minutes later a swift attack came, a ball was put into the box, the substitute George Lomax received and displayed good strength to turn, bang and double the Widnes lead.  The Road were nearly sunk and from here Widnes stayed in control and never really came under any serious pressure.  They cultivated another excellent move that saw C. Lomax have a punt touched off the line and then later in the dog end of the game one final shot was had by the same player only to be denied by some good gloved work.  The referee put the kybosh on the Road's suffering soon after, the points were going the right way and Man of the Match, for me at least, goes to the visiting teams No 4 (Kevin Pollard) for keeping the ranks awake, organised and forever keen and also for putting in a consistent stint that made sure a clean sheet was the reward.

FINAL THOUGHT - So, yet again, I came to watch The Road and I witnessed another step taken to the end of season doom.  I shall not dwell on the negative as there were several good performances put in tonight and if chances were taken and a bit of good fortune had then the result could have been oh so different.  I thought their No 1 (Ryan Livesey)_ and their No 9 (Jamie Roe) were quite outstanding as well as several others but the fact remains, for all their hard work, no points were in the bag.  Widnes though are a ruddy good side and prior to the match I expected more from them.  In fact a 1 - 4 win was my initial prediction which I wisely altered at half-time to 0 - 2 - a scoreline I did mention to the aforementioned Mr Potter which he assured me would be blessed with a £200 payment if proven right - the invoice is in the post sir!  So there ya go, another report done and perhaps more questions posed rather than answers given and, to answer the question in the title of the piece...The road leads...downward as if you couldn't have guessed (for the time being at least) but...well, you know the rest.