1st May 2018 - Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads 3 v 2 AFC Macclesfield - May Day is a Gay Day but no fair skinned maidens from the Isle of Lesbos or corn chewing yokels from Planet Homo have been dancing around my May Pole and I felt all the better for it. These tight trousers of mine can't take the pressure and, in truth neither can the prostate. I like people to live and let live, prejudice stinks but tearing one's kecks or creaking the old ballcock is no way to prove it. After a day at work and a stroll in the sun I arrived home, finished a CD review, photographed a couple of butterflies in the garden, cooked tea and added a new picture to my website - Carabus nemoralis no less, the Bronze Carabid, a tetchy little bugger but a good friend of the gardener. I chomped my tea, the good lady arrived home, I set off walking to the football ground and arrived 10 minutes later - how is that for convenience. A cup match tonight, the Stockport Cup Senior semi-final - by heck, who would have thought it? I don't know what the end prize entails - a night on the lash with Anne Coffey the local MP or a tour around the Hat Works with the friend of the next door neighbour of someone who knew Bobby Davro's cousin - tis all top quality stuff at the arse end of football. Either way I am sure both teams would give it their all and I duly acquired some cha' (thanks for the freebie George), picked a viewing point and scribbled the events as they unfolded. I trust in your faith to believe the following text and avoid any use of medication after the event.
The inflated bag got rolling (last time I said that someone was pushing a bean-laden Hattie Jacques down a hill) and toes fought to get a touch on matters. The start was tidy, both teams were exhibiting a sound appetite, the No 7 (Rubin Kennerley) of the visitors was nearly the first bod to get a break but was denied by a cracking last minute tackle. This moment was followed by the home No 9 (Rick Tindall) who put in some tenacious work on the flank, mug a defender and put the ball in to No 10 (Leon Grandison) who put the ball on a silver platter for Tindall to gobble up and fire home with choice precision. The Nomads were now perked up, No 4 struck a delectable crossfield ball that saw Tindall get upended in vulgar fashion, it was far from a graceful tackle. A free-boot was granted, no triumph was had but there was a mounting pressure on the guests, something they tried to deal with by creating a swift attack that saw No 8 (Chris Allen) hammer one goalward in wild fashion - it wasn't even close. Kennerley led the next Macc attack, a superb pass graced the width of the pitch, No 11 (Greg Mathers) was without hesitation and belted one first time. The mitter dove to his left, the ball sped on and looked destined for the bottom corner, somehow it crept passed the far stick - unlucky squire. Up the other end and after a defensive faux pas ('fuck up' to the less cultured) Grandison had a glorious chance to double his teams lead. He had only the keeper to beat, imagine the disappointment when, from mere feet out, he rattled over - oh man! In response to this let off the Macc lads kicked back, Mathers put in a free-kick that led to a corner and when the angled kick was delivered with good pace and accuracy it was gratifying to see No 10 (Jamie Manson) rise, nut and ripple the netting. All square, just what the Doctor of Neutrality ordered.
The next action soon followed, Tindall was in the mix and like an aroused skeleton, gave the upright a good rattling. No 6 (Ryan Stewart) had a hopeful punt at the other end, fine contact was made but the keeper gathered with sweat-free ease. This was a decent game, good end to end stuff with many a gut busted. Stewart then contributed some cultured football, threaded through to Tindall who duly shot but again missed the target. Out of the bustling midfield 1 pass and 1 long ball came, Tindall fought like a stallion and worked through two players and thumped with fire. The globe blazed, the inside of the post was struck and the net eventually found. It was a fine second strike, it restored the lead, the emphasis was back on the visitors to claw their way back...again. After a couple of sweet moves from Macc the home lads piled on the heat with numerous crosses and balls in, the culmination of these saw Grandison swing and hit air, a colleague (whom I missed) blast against the post and then Butler step up and finally rattle home. It was a case of good work all round, a ball in by the team on the shit end of the stick came out of the murky blue, a mess at the rear was had (ooh pass me the Pampers) and somehow the ball got fumbled home - was that No 9 (Jay Burgess) who was claiming that, either way, it certainly set things up for period two. A couple of kicks later and the break was upon us.
Half-time, I kept my butt still and chewed a few toffees. The weather was staying decent, but a downpour was on the cards - would it come early and throw a spanner in the works of this game? Who knows but things were still all to play for, carry on reading folks, all will be revealed!
Macclesfield came back out with a determination in their eyes, No 8 (Chris Allen) showed fine tenacity and won a free-kick from nothing. The ball went in, came back out, Allen was in the mix and battling away before getting a shot off that was disappointingly straight at the keeper. The travelling pack came on, The Nomads were living precariously, a careful step needed to be taken, the cup final tickets were on hold for sure. No 7 (Craig Coates) was working his knackers off for the hosts and Butler was forever in the mix, squeezing in a shot at one point that got deflected behind for a corner. The ball in was drilled with precision, No 2 (Liam Danagher) slapped crust on leather but the contact wasn't firm enough and the peril passed for the Macclesfield rear guard. The Nomads certainly looked all shook up here and they were under the cosh soon after when Kennerley found Mathers and a chance looked to be looming. The hosts somehow held firm, a release was found, Tindall persisted and caused a fumble by the keeper with the ball coming out and being cracked back in embarrassing fashion - a truly forgetable moment.
Into the home stretch, The Nomads began to reassert themselves but this was a tough contest and Macclesfield were certainly giving it their all. Kennerley came on, was brought down and a penalty shout was had. There was nowt doing and a curling shot followed that was mighty close and kept all alert levels at 'stage red'. A substitute for Cheadle was had, without teamsheets he shall remain 'the man with no name' although he didn't have a cigar and I couldn't see his horse tied up anywhere! He contributed with a brilliant cross and an equally choice corner, the latter of which saw Danagher nut but again without pure contact. The finish to the game was frantic, Cheadle were containing and breaking with Tindall through and being deemed to have used his hand and then the same bod surging again but stopped at the death by a great tackle from Stewart. Grandison for the hosts had the last chance of the game and could have sealed matters in fine style but cracked wide and left us at 3 - 2 to the Linotype lads. We were all done soon after, a good contest this, well fought out and done so fairly. Man of the Match, well for reliability and consistency and a steady performance throughout I am giving the award to the LCHN No 2 (Liam Danagher) - how's that! I duly went home, had some toast and chilled, a decent end to the day, and to think, I'll be back here again in two days time - lovely.
FINAL THOUGHT - A decent match this with two teams putting on a good display of footballing passion, determination and downright hard-work. The final for The Nomads is against Poynton. I don't know when it will be played or where the hell it is at but I am hoping to get that one in on the calendar and add my due support. It promises to be a tight game, the last time I watched these two teams meet there was very little in it and it could have gone either way - If I was you, I'd get details and get sorted as soon as, your time will be well spent I can guarantee it. This was the first time I had seen AFC Macclesfield tonight and it won't be the last. They are not to far away as the crooked crow flies and a trip out to their neck of the woods promises to be a gratifying time. Just to go, support and scribble a report I hope, in some small way, helps get them on the map and if one or two extra bods show up as a result I would be more than happy with that. The team try to play a good brand of soccer and one or two players caught my peepesr (not in that way though, I am a married man don't ya know) and will certainly help the squad move forward with the right footballing ethics - it is the only way, Non-League pure - tis worth the effort every single time.
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