6th April 2018 - Abbey Hey 1 v 2 West Didsbury & Chorlton - I am on a run at the moment, my 3rd night at football on the bounce and a match tomorrow - I may as well start taking my boots in case I get offered a game. The problem is I have many things on the go and the insistent clutches of this globe kicking cobweb means my time is stretched further than the tongue of a starving anteater or perhaps the ringpiece of Elvis Presley after a cheeseburger bender? I have a target set before season end and my wife's patience is admirable. I have promised if I do 100 games this season then next year I will stick to my regulation 60 per season. Along with CD reviews, putting on gigs, recording wildlife, work and many other time-gobbling aspects I have to juggle like an Octopus - the more I do the more my spirited suckers get sapped - oh the hazards of passion. So, work done, a cycle home, a quick tidy, a sprawl and some bilge TV - and out I was, with notebook and pen, book for a read and my clean underpants on (a knitted pair featuring a portrait of Richard Widmark, not Richard Skidmark). My wife decided to join me and we shared a cuppa and a choccy bar in the clubhouse. The rear was put out of gear and parked in a sensible spot, in no time at all this battle to escape the dropzone was on, the reds of Abbey Hey versus the Black and Whites of West Didsbury and Chorlton - here we go, yet again!
The West raced toward goal first with No 7 (Ben Steer) tearing down the flank, laying the ball off and No 11 (Matthew Kay) firing one wide of the mark. Abbey Hey responded with some hard-worked movement, passing the ball this way and that and allowing No 7 (Peter Boyle) to weigh up his chances. He needed little time, in fact the flicker of a wasps stinger when eyeing up a chosen rump to sting would take less time (ouch) and the ball was duly rattled forth. The mittman flung himself in desperation, the ball was too quick and too accurate, have that - 1 - 0 to The Hey! From here the hosts out-passed their opponents and kept matters fluid and brisk and when a corner was put into the box the visiting team looked slightly shaken and dealt with matters in a far from convincing way. No 2 (Lee Wilshaw) contributed to the mounting pressure with a hefty shot but the ball blazed over and we stayed as we were. The West eventually settled, Steer again went on a marauding run with several defenders in hot pursuit. The cross was had, Kay touched close in but the pace of the ball outwitted him and the target was missed. Both teams were now stroking the ball around, No 11 (Robert Swallow) migrated to the left flank and received a wonderful pass that flew the full width of the park. The player in possession cut in, decided to shoot but was wild in his execution and returned up field a trifle disappointed. Soon after it was Swallow again who got his crown on a cross from only feet out. The contact was firm, the mittman (Arron Ashley) produced a decent save and made sure the contest was still alive and kicking. 3 corners followed, The West survived and after a sub was made their No 15 (Steven Affleck) took a throw, got the ball back, crossed and won a corner. From the angular strike sour FA was had but it stemmed the opposing flow and gave the guests time to rebuild.
A sloppy period now ensued, both teams were grunting and groaning like a pig in labour but failing to produce any sucklings of success. Suddenly we sensed some pork of promise when Steer for The West broke down the wing, edged inwards and swung his hock. The ball flew, the net bulged, it was with great joy that many celebrated a fantastic equaliser that knocked the stuffing out of the team in the ascendancy and got this one back to all square. Now who would go on to bring home the full bounty of bacon - the crystal ball of Old McDonald may reveal all or perhaps this ongoing report! The West pushed on, a free-kick was had and cleared with uncontrolled zeal for a corner. The ball that came in was easily dealt with but Abbey Hey failed to finalise a potential break and soon after the visitors were at it again with Affleck knocking a long seeking pass that found Steer who knocked in to No 11 (Ashley Woods) who punted just over - now that was too close for comfort. The Hey had one last push before the break but the fruits of labour were left to rot and the break came with the match resting in perfect equilibrium.
Me and my grand lady wandered to the opposite side of the ground, indulged in some chocolate and awaited the two tribes whilst some young 'erberts kicked a ball about on some nearby grass.
The second half came, the opening session was looser than the bowels of Mavis Riley after a 1970's Vesta Curry and a game of Mastermind with Heinz Wolfe. Something akin to a zephyr wafted over the pitch, a break for a crook player further impeded any hope of some football, I waited with patience. The game restarted, stray passes were plentiful until Steer for the West worked well, put in a cross from which Affleck volleyed with zoned-in intent - POW - just wide. The guests now began to shade matters and when a regulation ball came in and a regulation header followed it was no surprise the net was found and No 6 (Matthew Eckersley) peeled away to indulge in some quite animated celebrations. The home team now worked harder, the away lads sensed blood and tried to settle matters once and for all. No 14 (Chappi Massamba) for The Dids was desperately unlucky not to bury a third when he got bonse on ball and just tupped over. It was getting to a stage now were the traffic was flowing one way although Abbey Hey did have a rare thrust forth that ended in a hopeful lob that wasn't too far off target - where there is effort there is hope!
From here we went into the final gasps of the game, No 3 (Matthew Cook) and No 10 (Daniel Heffernan) for AH came next, good link-up play and some powerful running saw danger only snuffed out at the last moment as the keeper left his line and smothered. A further flourish followed, Cook came again, earned a free-kick but the end result was nothing more than wastage - a shame indeed. The dregs went back and forth, no real adhesive play was had until, from the tension, No 9 (Peter Watling) hurtled his way through the rear pack, released a shot and was only denied by a crucial save from the mittman's lower limb. As it turned out it was a 3 point saver, the referee blew soon after, it had been a hard-fought affair that lacked style but had much substance. Man of the Match for me goes to No 15 (Steven Affleck) for his quick interplay, fast thinking and the extra danger he brought to the game, not bad for a substitute methinks.
FINAL THOUGHT - Fact - West Didsbury & Chorlton are now removing their safety knickers as the knickers have done their job for sure. Fact - Abbey Hey are wearing hole-filled underpants and there is a severe danger that something untoward may occur if they don't tuck in and keep an eye on any loose ball work. It has been a long season, this game exhibited two teams who look in need of a rest but, there is work still to be done and Abbey Hey are going to have to fight like vagabonds over a chip barm to avoid the chasm of relegation whereas West Didsbury & Chorlton can relax a little and maybe, just maybe, steal a few points here and their and earn a finishing position deserved of their efforts and quality. We tootled off home after the match, we were fagged out - there is another game next day, followed by a Fungalpunk gig featuring Mark Ayling, Apocalypse Baby's and Proud City Fathers - tis all go, all variety and all done with reality - get off yer arse folks, the underdogs need you!
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