TOP TWO TUSSLE

25th August 2018 - Cheadle Heath Nomads 2 v 3 New Mills - A morning shrooming at Etherow CP (50 + species named and shamed) was carried out before a quick change was had and I arrived at The Nomads ground in plenty of time to swill tea and wag the mandible.  A productive week had been spent identifying many species from the natural world, taking 2 lots of Young Carers out and about to a couple of farms and decorating the kitchen which was getting there, albeit rather slowly.  I had got through a recent anxiety spell and come out the other end and was trying my best to maintain a balance where the head stayed positive and the body followed suit.  Despite hearing that one of my best friends lost a testicle in a fracas with a one eyed midget and that my next door neighbour had damaged his stomach drinking pickle juice I was feeling in pretty fine fettle.  This match looked a tasty prospect, an early season thriller that could further propel one team off the springboard of hope and deeper into the waters of potential success.  It could also throw a stinking turd under one teams wheels of good fortune, send them arse over tit and knock their conkers of confidence for six - oh what sweet ingredients for we onlookers.  So gossip done, position taken with my mate STP Stu and Mamma Mia, here  we go again!  I did identify Meripilus giganteus and Conocybe apala whilst walking to the stands - and a Sparrowhawk was seen during the first half - tis all good stuff.

The match started with the hosts displaying the greater hunger early on as well as exhibiting good pep in the chugging engine.  Despite this the guests had the first foray forward with 2 honey kissed passes followed by a shot that was deflected over.  The corner was barren.  The Miller's seemed intent on using the angled long ball but time and again Cheadle mopped up and keen chasers were lacking.  No 3 (Jack Benson) put a temporary halt to the growing tide with a eye-catching run that ended in a short dissecting pass that was marred by an offside run.  2 corners followed at the other end the second of which was nearly nutted home by the predatory No 7 (Jake Bates) who missed the globe by mere millmetres.  Cheadle collected themselves, Benson took down a goal kick on his chest, went on a run that was laden with purpose and put the ball through with No 9 (Richard Tindall) eventually getting to grips with matters, having a peek at goal and cracking home like a well-seasoned striker.  Perhaps this goal was against the grain somewhat but the game needed it, the top spot was still up for grabs.

Cheadle carried on from here with a good work ethic.  Tindall was in again chasing a ball but this time accidentally clobbering the keeper who came and did enough to quell the chance. The game, as a contest, was well-balanced, both teams looked capable of grabbing the next strike but the Nomads were unfortunate not to double their lead when Tindall played out to No 6 (Isaac Graham) who lobbed in a cross that hit the post off keeper's back and somehow ended up in the lucky mitter's hands.  From here it seemed New Mills ran out of ideas and were forced onto the back foot.  No 11 (Liam Millen) for the home lads was trying a few neat touches, Tindall was putting in the usual stint and was beaten to the ball at the last by an unfazed keeper. The best the Millers could summon was a brief bout of in-box ping pong that was cleared by the home defense albeit in unorthodox fashion.  The lead should have been doubled soon after when Tindall was in again and from a few feet out put the ball over the bar - it was like the Elephant Man's privates as seen through a telescope - a shocking sight to behold.  With these thoughts of gibbose gonads in my mind I saw the Millers break with pace, the Nomads pack get back into position with high urgency and the final ball in be void of eager runners - 3 reasons that highlighted why the scoreline was as it was - half-time work was needed for the travellers.  One more long ball came at the host's goal, the keeper let it run and was nearly dipped in hot water with a smattering of shit - luckily he recovered and the half was soon done.

A wander, a cup of tea, a walk back and a catch up with Abbey Hey Fan Pete. A nice gent who likes his non-league as well as his tattoo's of naked celebrities.  His latest addition was a full frontal effort on his inner arm of none other than Norman Vaughan (ex-Golden Shot presenter) - I feigned interest, he is now saving funds for a rear pose of Robert Robinson - it may be a form of madness.

The second half came, it was evenly contested until The Millers upped the ante and after a blocked shot the loose ball was pounced upon by No 10 (Jordan Milne) who had one look and thumped. The bottom corner was found, it was the perfect start, where the hell would this one end up was anyone's guess!  The guests came again, No 9 (Aaron Dwyer) was tussling, a penalty claim was had, a corner given that came and was nutted wide.  More corners followed, the Nomads were shaken, the Millers stirred, No 3 (Jack McConnell) advanced and shot - unlike the accuracy of Jame Bond's Walther PPK, the result off target.  Dwyer came on again, a shimmy, a shake, a shot into the outside of the netting.  In return the Nomads worked hard to build and win a corner, the delivery was certainly a cause for death by firing squad - or perhaps I am being too harsh, it was a ruddy stinker though and in these desperate times more was needed.  At the other end a free-kick was nutted back and No 11 (Jordan Pendlebury) did well to make contact and was unlucky just to hit the top of the bar - another reprieve for the Cheadle chaps, they were playing with fire and fingers were't going to be burnt if care wasn't taken - remember - Charley says.....  

As time progressed the hosts were being molested and mauled by a worked up New Mills unit. The visitors came once more, Milne ran with focus, put a ball through that was touched on to Dwyer.  The striker was pushed wide, he persisted and perspired and shot from the angle - the mesh rippled, somehow a goal had been got and what just reward for some real determined play.  Moments later, Pendlebury was in, he had a chance to bury but the home mitter (Aaron Tyrer) was quick to react and pulled off a tip-top save.  Two shots came towards the opposite goal, No 5 (Joseph Armstrong) was resolute in his rearguard duties and blocked both  efforts - fine work.  The match now wound down, Dwyer had a crack from a free-kick that the keeper read well but soon after a pilfering took place, a ball was played through to Dwyer who cracked home with aplomb and cemented a firm lead for his side and a solid brace of goals for his hard-working self.  The time now drained away, Cheadle tried to force matters, a free-kick was poor, and then I thought another free-kick had been awarded.  Wrong, a penalty was the outcome and No 7 (Kayle Power) stepped up, slotted home and put doubt in the minds of all those who thought the match was done.  Alas for the hosts, after a bit of scrappy play the game was finished, it had been a good 'un, one of two halves and from the pack of players my Man of the Match goes to No 9 (Aaron Dwyer) of New Mills for never giving up the ghost, keeping in control of his emotions and the ball and scoring two well-deserved goals out of almost nothing. Keep the head down, work hard and there will be many more to come squire.  Farewells were had, a team-sheet obtained, 5 goals for a fiver - bargain.

FINAL THOUGHT - This was an example of a game of two halves if ever I saw one. Cheadle Heath Nomads could have had the game done and dusted by half time if that one goal lead and much possession could have been built on and the lack of cohesion in the New Mills ranks well and truly punished.  A lesson to be learnt, go for the jugular when your prey is wounded and make sure a full 90 minute consistency and work rate is had no matter which way the flow is going. New Mills showed good resilience today and when under the cosh they stayed calm, rode the storm and did enough to go into the break one goal down and have time to regroup.  The second half performance was akin to the eyes of Benny Hill during a Hot Gossip routine (full of desire) and similar to the love-life of Liberace (a balls out affair).  This kind of belief and never-say-die attitude will serve them well but I think both teams will do OK during the coming months as long as they run themselves into the ground and don't get too down when the ball is not rolling fair.  A pleasure to be back at this new, improved ground, something tells me Cheadle Heath Nomads will be my most watched team this season - and why not - The Millers will be getting due attention too - as per, tha' gotta be fair!