Saturday, 14 September 2019

BLACK FRIDAY BONUS

13th September 2019 - Skelmersdale United FC 1 v 2 Wythenshawe Town - Friday the 13th - a time to be careful, a time when Jason Vorhees goes on the prowl looking to appease his slashing needs, a time when I also need to appease my slashing needs hence the lengthy squirt I had when arriving at the ground and dashing to point Percy at the porcelain.  Upon relinquishing the liquid gold (£4 a pint on E-Bay I'll have you know) I joined my good lady, acquired a brew and picked our places for the night's footballing encounter.  I hadn't seen the homeside before but I have played 5-a-side around here back in the day, a time when my silky skills brought many a 'ooh' from watching scouts (due to having a rectal tear in my shorts) and a time when my shooting skills brought great uproar from any watching fans (primarily due to my ability to skew the ball 20 yards off target and usually pull a muscle).  These days my football boots (well Doc Martins) are consigned to the memory banks and I am happy to stick to the saliva-sodden game of blow football or just watch some Non-league.  Tonight's match was a FA Vase 2nd round affair - it could be a spicy do, my money was on a...well, that would be telling and more than likely embarrassing - let us just see what transpires.


And away we went, an almost immediate handball claim by Skem was waved away by a forgiving referee and an early penalty was consigned to the filing tray marked 'what could have been'.  The game settled from this early palpitation, both teams examined their options, assessed their opponents set up and urgency.  The first gratis gift came the way of the Town but the free-kick was marred by a dopey-dick ref who got in the way of the ball and helped squander any chance available.  No 9 (Stuart Wellstead) eventually released but the attempt lacked any gumption whatsoever and the mittman gathered with general comfort.  Next and the visiting No 3 (Jerome Wright) burst from the back, cut in towards the opponents box and was duly fouled.  Full marks were awarded as the player stayed upright and forced on, eventually releasing a shot that rasped the side-netting, it was a shame as the determination and honesty deserved a goal.  The ball must have taken a deflection on the way forth, one corner and then another followed, the end result was a ballooned shot from Wellstead into the slightly chilled night air.  

The action and tempo were now increasing, the hosts won a free-kick in the middle of the park from which a long ball into the box was played with No 9 (Richard Bridie) rising like a stout Stinkhorn from a woodland floor, seemingly hanging in mid-air like a levitating voodoo man and then nutting the globe toward goal with much cranial vigour - the ball however didn't play fair and flew wide of the framework.  In response to this slight scare The Town played a long ball from back to front, No 7 (Brad Byrne) was on it, darted into the danger zone and after the merest contact fell to the floor like the veritable 'sack of shite'.  The man in the middle sensed a misdemeanour, his finger was raised and the little whiote spot was pointed to.  The penalty was struck by Wellstead, the bottom corner was where the ball was sent, alas it was a few inches off-line and the upright made its presence felt and saved the day for the hosts.  

From here Skelmersdale came on strong, a booming cross found a rising nut, the ball eventually came off No 5 (Jordan Tyrer) who knocked it just over the bar.  Another attack, Town were in defensive chaos, No 10 (Einar White) had a free-shot, the save from No 1 (Callum Jakovlevs) was first class, the follow-up shot way off the mark.  It was a choice moment all made irrelevant by the waving flag - sometimes those liners are real spoilsports.  Skem continued to possess, probe and pass, all that came though was a weak shot by No 7 (Luke Holden-Moakes) and a potentially decapitating cross from No 11 (Liam Wood) that all heads missed (thankfully).  From the advancements of the hosts The Town had the odd foray against the flow one of which saw a decisive counterattack come in the form of a pass, a staright thru-ball and a swivel by the eager Holden-Moakes who slipped his marker, got the noggin down, eyed goal and slipped the ball neatly beneath the advancing keeper.  It was a self-made goal, neatly taken, it was exactly what the game needed.

We we now heading to the break, No 6 (John Keatley) let fly a howitzer as my good lady went for a brew.  The bar was duly boomed, White came in with a follow-up, the outside of the post lost a few licks of paint.  As the half came to a close the visitors had a few digs on goal but their shooting boots were not tuned in to the night's work, the 15 minute interval came, no doubt the two dressing rooms would be highly inflamed for different reasons, this one was far from finished.

The break was used to slurp tea, share a choccy bar and chat with a couple of friendly locals.  Things were looking up for Skem with a new ground being worked upon - I like to hear good news stories.

The second half soon began, The Town were on it, No 4 (Jack Timmons) put in an early tester, a player entered the fray with no number on his shirt, the report suddenly became a trifle tougher.  As the guests pressed a Bat fluttered by, no doubt looking for the odd moth-based meal on this night of the full moon on a day marked down as unlucky.  One team would surely be tasting defeat tonight and feeling the brunt of the hoodoo that comes with these so-called jinxing days, I held my breath with child-like imaginings coursing through the noggin - ooh aye, Dracula Lives!

Back to the game, a Town corner, nowt doing but Wellstead won a clever free-kick from absolutely nothing, a canny player that and one who duly stepped up and had the bonus boot that went by the wall and forced the keeper to sprawl and neatly save.  The ball however, went loose, Byrne was quick to react and slid home to bring this one level and put the result up for grabs.  From here, if truth be told, the travellers were very much dictating the flow with half chances appearing and incessant pressing the order of the day.  A corner saw the ball enter the box and ping this way, that way, every way you can think of - players were scampering, lunging, become desperate, it all became too much and a Skem lad was sent to the bin of sin to consider his excitably induced crime.  The game was getting tasty, the home manager had to be spoken to but only after the guests had put together a quick move that saw an end shot get deflected and the predator that is Wellstead grab the lead goal for the Wythy pack who were definitely up for the fight.  The turn around was complete, now it was just a matter of protecting the advantage.

Once more, as the hand of the clock progressed, did the rampaging visiting pack advance.  A stunning multi-pass move opened up the hosts like a can of beans, it was a shame after consuming the opponents resistance the end fart was somewhat deflating and deflected for a corner from which, disappointingly, nowt came.  Eventually Skem were back to 11 players on the pitch, from here the response needed to begin and begin with much ardour.  Both teams battled well, in many respects they snuffed each other out and little in the way of a true chance manifested itself.  The home lads dug deep, No 16 (Joel Douglas) had a chance to bury but blazed way off target and was saved a true showing up by a waving flag and then a free kick via the feet of No 2 (Matthew Coughlan) was sent goalward and only just shy of the inside of the post.  Town kept their opponents honest and in the main on the back foot, the last real chance fell to the home No 3 (Alex Griffiths) who after a bout of head tennis somehow had a shot that was nicely blocked by a still wide awake keeper.  A last free-kick for Skem went straight at the keeper and as my wife looked at me with those 'if this goes into extra time I will kill you eyes' the whistle finally blew and I was saved a beating unlike the hosts who were now done and dusted.  It had been a fine match, touch and go throughout with the visitors just deserved of the victory.  The Man of the Match goes to Wythenshawe Town's No 3 (Jerome Wright) for some quick feet, alertness, a range of prowling tactics, some good fair play and, without doubt, adding a touch of class - a very good player indeed.  After a quick leak we were done with another cup match beckoning for yours truly on the morrow - fantastic isn't it.

FINAL THOUGHT -  A fine cup match in the company of 70+ other folk and all for £6 at a decent ground indeed.  Skelmersdale United may have lost tonight but are no mugs and have many qualities to call upon during the league campaign that will certainly put them through the mixer and test their very mettle.  They have a few eye-catching players and a variety of options although tonight I don't think all were used to their full potential.  A bit more width, a touch more forcefulness and of course, a rub of the green and things may just have turned out differently but Wythenshawe Town played a good game tonight, stayed composed when the chips were down and stuck at the task to get the end result they so desired.  The away team seem to be heavily pregnant with quality in all areas, I look forward to the impending birthing process to give rise to many sprogs of success with the future looking rosier than the freshly thwacked arse of a fetish-obsessed Tory MP (dirty git).  So for the Wythy Warriors the conflict of the cup continues, from the Skem Soldiers it's back to the parade ground to prepare for league battle - it is all exciting stuff and as long as we all keep enjoying and supporting what can we possibly have to complain about!

No comments:

Post a Comment