28th December 2019 - Droylsden FC 1 v 1 City of Liverpool - I woke up today with a banging head and
with a taste of utter disgust in my cakehole. The head was due to sitting
around over the festive period, something that plays havoc with my carcass
hence why I prefer to be on the go. The disgust was down to the bedroom
radio emanating digital news that that lumpy old leech The Queen had given out
her Hew Year's Honors and I hadn't got one for my work towards the realms of
awkwardness and defiance - ooh the rotten old git. Mind you, joining a
list of accepting arseholes who think they have gone up a notch in society is
not one of my ambitions and so I crack on regardless and spit out the silly
unpalatable flavour and do my bit. Back to reality and after a morn of
cutting back unwanted foliage (yes, after consuming a hormone-riddled Gammon
for Christmas my pubescence is thickening at an alarming rate), nipping to the
shops with my good lady for some dosh, bird food and a Victor Kiam Fuzzaway
(aye, the rectal hairs are also a problem) we had a brief tidy, a quick sort
and then headed out (with daughter in tow) to a new ground for us to catch up
with an old North West Counties team and hopefully witness a fine game of
football. There were many purple helmets on show at the ground, many
expectant bloods and no doubt a few tits making up the numbers (well, me and
STP Stu at least). Brews, snacks and positions were all had, I was opting
for a 2 - 2 draw, Stu was going for 2 - 3, my wife Gill opted for 2 - 2 and my
daughter, under duress went for 1 - 2. This is what went on!
The start involved a careful feeling out process with very little in the way of
chances until the Purps No 10 (Thomas Peterson) was threaded through and duly
put the ball in the net. The glory and celebration was shat upon via a
the referee's whistle though - I think the striker may have been deemed
offside. The same player, undeterred, was at it again moments later when he
played a simple but effective ball to No 9 (Elliot Nevitt) who refused to crack
first time and when he did let fly saw the ball blocked and sent behind for a
corner. The angled punt led to sod all, soon the hosts were breaking, No
9 (Jack Kay) was released and only had the mittman to beat, but alas the touch
on goal was scuffed and the ball went wide, for me this was a big chance lost.
As matters developed further Droylsden advanced with yet more purpose. No
8 (Andreas Bianga) battled like a fruit fly over a dropped tangerine segment
(well it is Christmas), fed his comrade No 5 (Andy Langford) who crossed first
time. Again, Kay was the apical component in the mix, he found himself in
the smallest of spaces but failed to make a killer touch. The game now
settled, the hosts looked to make all the running, the guests happy to soak and
hopefully spring.
Droylsden pushed like constipated cows, there was much effort but no pats of
potential were dropped, the COL buzzed like flying
dung beetles, hoping that their opponents would over-exert themselves and lead
to a slight heaving distraction. One such moment came, Peterson chased a
long ball, it looked as though an opportunity to break the deadlock was coming
but the home keeper had other ideas, left his line with good impetus and
knuckled the ball to safety. Again the visitors came, a multi-pass move
saw No 3 (Francis Foy) sidle in and try and place a shot - alas the effort had
as a much 'oomph' as a Boris Johnson promise - what a pity!
Towards the closing stages of the half the Purps put in a good stint, Peterson
and Nevitt linked up with the former player getting clattered. From the
free-kick the ball went in and out quicker than Neil Ruddock in a free-pie
shop. A driving shot followed, a handball claim ignored, a corner easily
dealt with and half time it was.
The break was spent pointing the oriental eye at the urinal, supping tea and
then myself and Stu had a wander round to the other side of the ground whilst
my good lasses retook their seating positions up in the stands. The game
needed a goal, it was not looking likely at the mo, the digits were crossed and
hope, as ever, remained high.
The teams soon came back out, the travelling eleven were quickest out of the
traps, their early gusto was only marred at the last with too many touches
being taken when it most mattered. The first attack of the second segment
came however for the home pack with No 7 (Danny Wilkins) indulging in a bout of
galloping, playing a tidy ball to No 12 (Harry Canon-Noren) who indulged in a
first time cross that was nutted disappointingly off-target. Droylsden
came again soon after, No 5 (Andy Langford) advanced with obvious purpose,
Canon-Noren was the recipient of a delicious pass, the resultant shot however
strayed wide of the far stick, it should at least have been on target.
The resident lads now moved up a gear, Canon-Noren went on a defiant run and
earned a corner. The ball in brought some discomfort for the visiting
rear, they somehow survived but then No 10 (Domaine Rouse) came with a steaming
run and earned another free-kick to keep the pressure on. The ball was
delivered, the keeper punched with authority and from here the City Of Liverpool eleven began to get
some kind of a grip of matters.
We travelled
into the back end of the contest, the Purple Pirates marauded forth, seemed to
be ready to gain some serious momentum until Droylsden halted the tide, worked
forth with a quite scintillating 4 pass move that ended with Wilkins striking
the ball home and breaking, what had been, a quite stubborn deadlock. If
the truth be told, it was a bloody good goal!
The
complexion of the game was now changed, the trailing lads began to display some
fighting spirit, Foy was a key component and always eager to deliver first time
crosses rather than fart about and see potential dissipate. One such ball
came, in-box uncertainty brought 'ooh's and 'aah's' from the onlookers, the
ball eventually fell to the lower digits of No 11 (Jamie McDonald), the globe
was knocked homeward - the last few minutes were set to level 'frantic'.
The last throes, the
hosts came, a deep free-kick saw the ball go straight out of play and then
Canon-Noren advanced. The player in possession drove with focus, the pass
to Kay saw the ball deflected behind for a corner which, when hoofed in, was
met with much Purple defiance. With little time now left Rouse for the
hosts darted, the cross was without fuss and Kay just needed the merest touch
to bulge the netting - how he missed is still beyond me. Some end to end
action came, the final attempt at goal came from the home No 2 (Adam Rooney )
who nutted a corner kick behind and that was indeed...that! As we said
farewells to a few Purple-ised folk, I pondered the Man of the Match and went
for the stalwart and immovable rock that is the City of Liverpool No 6 (James
McCarten). His defensive stint was solid, efficient and mightily
encouraging and is surely the backbone around which his team can build and
progress. As Alan Hansen once said 'if you don't concede, you don't get
beat' - I think this rear guard player can help these words ring true.
Quentin Crisp once said 'if you don't bend over, you don't get bummed' whether
or not this extra quote has any relevance is beyond me but I thought I would
throw it in to get you buggers thinking.
FINAL THOUGHT - A game for the connoisseur this, a chess match between
two battalions not fully flowing and not fully confident of their next move.
Bishops were bashed as considered plans were nullified and as both teams looked
to squeeze out a killer 'mate move' what transpired was a stale situation that
was indeed, thoroughly fair and justified. City Of Liverpool are still recent newcomers to this
level of football, they are still adjusting and are finding the tempo and
industry just a little too tasty at the present moment. They are no mugs
though, have some good grafters in the mix and many seasoned hoofers, all that
is needed is a few minor tweaks, a run of good
fortune and, may I add, a bit more belief when on an attacking roll.
Support must come more quickly, balls must be delivered as soon as, options
need to be created with many diagonal, darting and desirous runs - I hope to
see how they get on sooner rather than later. Droylsden are in the same
boat but for me are closer to the finished article. The loss of a few
effective players early on hindered their game today, they were up
against a defense who were 'on it' and the pitch didn't help by being as sticky
as the hands of Charlie Chaplin when auditioning a young woman for a role in
one of his pie-flinging films. They played some swift and accurate
football at times though, displayed a good industry and on another day could
have bagged the full 3 point prize - alas, such are those 'other days'.
All in all though 1 - 1 was a fair result, I shall hope to catch both units again
soon enough, for now though, there are just so many teams to keep up with - by
heck, ain't it great!
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