8th February 2020 - Dukinfield Town and Youth FC 2 v Bolton County 1 - And Saturday was upon us again - another cluster of days done with the time to catch up on many fronts here. The week had seen us work away the hours, watch a few B&W films and my manky self have problems with my shoulder. I think it is all part of the aging process, the same process that buys the testicles a one-way taken to destination 'south', replaces pates of flowing locks with a glabrous egg-shell pink and turns the urinary flow of Niagra into the uncertain flow of the River Twat! Aches, pains, short-sightedness, ringing ears, an expanding waistline - ooh what is there not to enjoy? To add to it all one becomes wiser and with the sagacity a certain cynicism sneaks in and one can't help feeling that Philip Schofield is an attention seeking, disloyal bastard, the Pope smokes dope whilst conning the masses and Bruce Forsyth was a Satanist after all - thank goodness Benny Hill was blessed with saintly attributes. And so, this cantankerous creaking git shifted his carcass early morn, caught up with the household chores whilst the fine lady took her mum shopping and then, after my better half returned, got ready and headed out to watch some more Non-League Footy. We picked up Darren Morris en route, Darren is a good fellow, keen on the hoofing game and joining us today before coming to a gig I had sorted for the ensuing evening's entertainment. The 4th 'Blackpool Bastards Invasion' was the noisy affair, an excuse to show some solid DIY dinnage from the condom-infested shores where I spent many a day when young, frittering money, pilfering cheap shit from tacky tit-filled shops and eating bilge food in the midst of a bracing sea air - oh I do like to be beside the seaside etc etc.
And so we were all eventually on the touchline, this was a new ground visited and 2 new teams viewed, tis always nice to have a change and scribble about different doofers having a go. My observations went as thus, I apologise for any textual crimes and unexplainable digressions.
The valved object began its rotations at 2pm, the sun was in and out, the sky was a metamorphing grey and blue, Storm Ciara was giving a hint of billowings to come - all wig-wearers beware. The first team to summon an advanced movement saw Bolton win a corner the execution of which was ruddy awful. The wind whipped around, Dukinfield constructed a decent onslaught that saw No 10 (Tyler Devlin) finalise with a cheeky overhead kick that failed to defy the waftings. A free-kick came the same way next, the ball was struck low with a superfluity of pace. The keeper sprawled and saved but the home No 9 (Youseff Belattar) was on the loose ball quicker than a Shit Eating Death Fly on the anus of an uncorrupted corpse - 1 - 0 it was. Seconds later the goal scorer went on a delicious foray, beat two scampering players and put in a cross that was laden with temptation but just about snuffed out by the rear ranks of the BC brigade.
The game was awash with endeavour, control however was a different matter, the devilish conditions were certainly having the last laugh. The hosts were shading matters, Devlin nearly put pate on ball inches out and then No 11 (Andrew Mitchell) delivered a corner that No 6 (Jake Fenton) nutted close-in but was denied by the visiting No 1's (Charlie Helsby) nimble reflexes.
With the skies darkening, a flock of Starlings getting blown around and a few ruddy faces bearing watering eyes Bolton summoned a few notable flourishes. One cross came with troubling intent forcing the home No 4 (Elliot Handley) to hoof over his own bar. A corner followed, the header was boomed wide - it was an encouraging period for the guests though. A long ball next saw the visiting No 9 (Mahal Sheeren) played through, this looked like a real chance to get the game back to parity but the shot was way off the mark and brought a few disgruntled expletives from the travelling support. Dukinfield bounced back, some good pressure saw an in-box melee end with the ball nearly in the net but with the keeper somehow getting his carcass in the way - phew, that was a close call.
The half drew to a close, the hosts were liveliest and looking to grab a crucial second strike. The highlight of the closing stages came via the galloping shanks of Belattar who went on another devious dash but who ended matters with a pop on target that lacked any real gumption. Peep, peep - time for a break.
Brews were gratefully received via the frozen mitts of the aforementioned Mr Morris. We chatted bollocks and watched a few birds flit by with a draught up their duffelbag and a keen desire to find cover in their ever-watchful eyes. The teams came back out, we were hopeful of a little more composure and of course, a few more goals.
A battling start to the second period, the guests came on, No 11 (Matt Latham) charged forward, Handley for the hosts stuck to his defensive task and hoofed behind with the follow-on corner plucked out of the air by the rising gloved guardian. The Town's Belattar had a run and shot next with the keeper just about holding and then the man between the sticks produced some top notch action with a long range shot saved and a follow-up effort from close quarters also blocked - grand work fella, grand work. Bolton dug deep, a free-kick went whistling by their opponents post but their keeper was called into action again when producing another point blank save from Belattar's bonse.
The next goal was of great importance and as we were wondering where it would come from our questions were answered and the home No 8 (Ben Bardsley) battled like a bulldog with inflamed balls. The player seemed trapped in the corner, he somehow beat his markers, put in a cross that saw No 7 (Andrew Newton) meet with the cranium and put into the awaiting mesh - it had been coming.
Urgency now infected the travelling team's spirits, they came in waves with several crosses entering the Dukinfield box. One such cross was low and hard and allowed No 7 (Carl Airey) to nip in and bury - 2 -1 - now this was going to be an intriguing last 10 minutes. The minutes ticked by, an equaliser nearly came when the BC substitute tried to dink one over the keeper. The execution looked to be perfect, the ball rose and began to fall, it was with great disappointment that it fell into the deadzone after hitting the horizontal. Straight down the other end we went, a sizzling pop from distance saw the crossbar caressed albeit on the outer side. The final gasps, no team could find that killer touch although Bolton County had several half-chances but were denied by a defiant ball and a keeper who made one last save before the whistle was finally blown.
Hands were shook, the teams had done their best in conditions rated as 'problematical'. I think the hosts deserved this and Man of the Match goes to their No 7 (Andrew Newton) for some good on the deck control, many quickly thought out touches and showing a good awareness of the play and making sure he put in a good worthwhile contribution. We buggered off to the ensuing gig windswept but happy with the trip out, cheers to both teams for their efforts.
FINAL THOUGHT - Tis difficult to pass judgement on the two teams today as the conditions made for a game that was, in truth, a real grinder. Bolton County seemed to come with a game plan that never came to fruition and for me they played too much of the game with any real lack of urgency. They had a brief spell after going 2 goals down and got the game back within touching distance but then failed to fully capitalise on the flow and take their chances. If they are to give one last push this season they need to just go for it and get their shooting boots on, they are now in a position with no room for error - let's hope I can pay them a visit and see how they are getting on. Dukinfield Town came, dug deep and got the 3 points they fully deserved. In truth, with a bit more composure in front of goal they could have netted a few more goals but their opponents were no push overs in the rear so credit is given where credit is due. The hosts had many players who caught the eye and who are more than capable of getting the team into the top slot position and helping them stay there. There seems to be a real exciting closure ahead from the Manchester Premier League - my peepers are peeled and the diary scanned for any potential spaces - has anyone got a cloning machine?
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