4th February 2020 - Warrington Town 1 v 0 1874 Northwich - Tis only Tuesday and I am tired out already. I am dropping vitamins, exercising and keeping busy but these dark days don't half sap the energy. I have been using an old Betamax video to assist in feeling chipper, namely 'Norman Wisdom's Vibrate Yourself Fit' escapade. Alas my idea of keeping in trim does not involve staggering around like a cretin, falling over and giggling like a goon and pulling ye olde todger whilst shouting 'ooh Mr Grimsdale'. The tape is now in a charity shop, I hope some old darling gets more use out of it than I did but I would recommend she fast-forward through the nude skipping scenes and the parts were the imbecilic instructor uses certain body parts to lift some home-made dumb-bells - who knew that the fore-skin was so elasticated! So, with weary carcass and motivating missus, I headed to ye olde Warrington Town and arrived at the Cantilever Stadium with a real thirst on. Tea was swilled, I refused to indulge in a pie, I am trying to be good but man resisting sexual circles of potato and meat temptation is not easy.
Anyway, tonight's game was a cup encounter, the Cheshire Senior Cup in fact and a contest that I considered to be a real touch and go encounter. It goes without saying that I have a soft spot for the guests but neutrality is a stance I must adopt or the match reports will go skewwhiff and I will fall into the realms of idiot bias. As seats were taken, we sat close like two wintry wrens striving to stave off the cold, by heck this had better be a good match or I would tweet my vitriol as harsh as the likened avian imp when in full song (and that can be nasty). Eventually, I put impartial pen to paper - if you are still intrigued read on, if not, have a mouthful of Troglodytes troglodytes vulgarity!
From the opening throes no team really shone, with a slight chance coming the way of The Town when an early corner saw No 9 (Josh Amis) whoosh in at the back stick and clatter the keeper instead of the ball. The guests tried to get a good feel of the globe and played the possession game with sharp passing and control the order of the day. A free-kick was eventually earned with No 4 (Lee Jackson) receiving, mis-controlling and watching the ball almost drop into the awaiting net - by heck man that was close! The early tactics of the 74 squad seemed to be paying dividends and it was soon after when another move saw No 9 (Scott McGowan) gather some 20+ yards out and let fly a rasper that whistled forth and took a lick of paint from the outside of the post - what a decent effort!
As the flow increased The Town pilfered possession, Amis was at the apex of the move and from the edge of the box had his eagle-eyes on goal. The shot came, impetus was high, again, just like in the nob-kicking championships of Netherley, another upright was left quivering. From here 74 reacted, a corner was won and delivered, Jackson connected and put the ball inches over. Once again the travelling pack advanced, the move was made up of 2 touches and a shot from No 11 (Lee Knight). The final effort lacked pace but the keeper made a meal of it and just about fumbled wide. The angled kick resulted in some awful defending, Jackson was on the loose ball like a testicle-addicted nut-job - the lash over was deemed a poor miss to say the least!
The animation of the game remained respectable, both teams were having sniffs at goal without taking full advantage. A Warrington corner followed, Amis was on the end of it and nutted over - just. Soon after the same player received a pass from No 7 (Will Harris) and shot inches off target - surely there was going to be a breakthrough soon! Some choice tackles were had, nothing sinister, just collisions laden with zeal. Frustrations were now evident though as we entered the final flickers of period one when the hosts won a final corner, posted it into the crowded 74 box where some messy defending ensued. The globe went pinging here and there and was eventually collared by No 6 (David Raven) who thought 'fuck this' and wasted no time in whacking home. It was a goal against the general grain but one the game very much needed and when the whistle came for half-time the guests trundled off wondering how on earth they were trailing by this late strike.
Me and the good lady stayed put for the break, we were quite cosy and not willing to leave our spots. I chomped a few Yoghurt Hazelnuts like an up-market squirrel - my sweet lady was being strict and refused to partake - she will have to have a satsuma when we get home, ooh the disciplined bugger.
Half-two began in zipping style, No 6 (Jake Parker) for Northwich provided a quick delivery that Knight cracked not too far off the mark. Down the other way and No 10 (Tony Gray) had a peeper attracting surge that ended with a ball out wide that was crossed back and just snuffed out by the ever-watchful mitter. Knight for 74 was soon involved again, one ball was chased but it had too much rotational vigour and then the eager frontman was at the end of a superb move but just lacked the control when in a position of blatant danger. Immediately the home team bounced back, No 11 (Dylan Vassallo) flicked on a quality header, the ball was played on and Amis had a snippet of space to shoot. The finish reminded me of a 3 word assessment I once saw written on a Conservative Manifesto - 'shite', 'shite' and 'shite'.
The contest was now hectic, we were witnessing a game similar to a victim of food poisoning with activity high at both ends. Vassallo for The Town had a low drive saved, Knight and No 3 (Jack Tinning) for Northwich had fair pops but just couldn't keep the ball on target. Minutes ticked by, Knight for the visitors progressed yet again, he was working his chestnuts off that was for sure. A lay off to McGowan saw a low shot come, the keeper read the situation well and kept his netting un-bulged (ooh heck missus).
Into the home stretch, 1874 Northwich were still battling and keeping their opponents honest but Warrington Town were displaying an impermeable resilience and keeping all threats well and truly at bay. Free-kicks came for both teams during the last 5 minutes, the assassins touch was lacking although No 8 (Bohan Dixon) for The Town did send in a bending beauty that brought out a top quality save by the travelling mittman. From the corner nothing was borne, 1874 tried to summon one last charge but it was all too late and as the whistle blew we had to consider how the result had ended up as it had. First things first though and Man of the Match with the choice tonight going to Warrington Town's No 6 (David Raven) for the goal, a workman-like shift and a certain stubbornness in the rear ranks that made life very hard indeed for the opposing faction. Sometimes quiet unassuming efficiency is sorely overlooked - not tonight, well-played that man, have a Yoghurt Hazelnut on me!
FINAL THOUGHT - And to the final summing up. Well, 1874 Northwich came as slight underdogs, they did their own league proud and in truth, perhaps had a little more opportunity in front of goal than their opponents. They had plenty of time on the ball, worked like Trojans (I expected nothing less) and displayed a quality and belief that will serve them well when they get promoted come season end. They are a fine unit with many attributes and, as per, work the full 90 minutes and maintain a good standard of excellence - tonight however they met a Warrington Town side who were tight at the back and, most importantly, bust many a bollock whilst not in possession of the ball. This seems to be a key factor when moving up the footballing leagues, the fact that teams close down quicker and give the opposition no time to dwell is the difference in standard and Warrington carried out their roles with great efficiency tonight. This was a close game though, it did the Cheshire Senior Cup proud and was a good contest to watch especially for those keen enough to shift their arses on a dark February week night. I am sure, during our wanderings, we will catch both teams in action again and wish them well in the meantime and of course, thanks for the entertainment.
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