28th October 2020 - Cheadle Town 1 v 1 Alsager Town - Two nights of footy on the bounce making sure we get the games in before Old Mother Climate parts her nebulous privates and pisses on the weekends fixtures and, the shroomage. Today I had had a long day at work tidying up loose ends and catching up in many areas. I wandered home and recorded a few fungi before the skies darkened, then, when home, topped up and finished the recent Arley Hall list to 113 species. The species added were two Brittlegills, which had me wondering which team tonight would be showing their fragile nature and crumbling under any applied pressure. Who would be the first team to spread their hyphal strands and feed on the root system of their opponents and duly spread spores of success via their productive ball booting basidia. I may be overdoing it on the fungal front, my willy is looking decidedly like a Pestle-Shaped Puffball, my anus is sporting a nice circular troop of the aptly named Fairy Ring Champignon and my nipples are lactating like mad, with the milk turning yellow when applied to an handkerchief. Not good is it! Despite these complaints and a touch of Hairy Curtain Crust between the toes I hobbled down to tonight's ground and arrived in good time to natter and catch up with the fine gent on the gate, and of course, with STP Stu. Tea and choccy were a certainty and after acquiring both we marched to the far side of the ground and were joined by Gareth and Sandra, 2 more keen onlookers. We were all armed with brollies thus guaranteeing the night to be droplet free - let us hope goals would be more free in raining forth.
The game began with little in the way of hair-raising action and if the truth be told, set the script for the rest of the night. A mis-kick by the Alsager keeper nearly resulted in a goal but a recovery was had and blushes were spared. Alsager made most of the early running and were making sure the home ranks never truly settled. The Town eventually summoned a break with No 9 (Pat Davin) breaking, shaking off his marker and squaring the ball to No 11 (Max Greenhalgh) whose shot was dragged disappointingly wide.
Some end to end action came with many raised voices and claims for this, that and t'other. Several surges came each way, some solid last ditch tackles were witnessed with the hosts ruffled by the visitors generous helpings of gumption and gusto. The game raced on, there was little need for my pen to waltz across the paper until a blazing shot came from the Bullets pack only for their own No 8 (Jordan Stafford) to be in the way and perhaps deny a sure opening goal. From here the home lads progressed with real spunk in their stride, Davin provided a cross which No 10 (Enock Amankwaa) missed but clattered into the keeper and came off second best. The referee pointed to the spot, it seemed a strange decision from where we were stood but the Alsager lads accepted it and watched as Davin stepped up to wallop home the ball and give his side the lead against the run of play.
Matters now ground on, Cheadle looked to take charge, Alsager became ragged but still battled with good zest and gave the opposing force little room to create. To be fair, The A's were the better side toward the break but just the final touches at the latter end let them down - a recurring theme with many teams this season it seems.
For the break me and Stu went for a brew, on cold dark night it is what we do. Alas for us, there was a queue, and we only made it back in time, to view, half 2. Up yours Lord Byron!
The chasing period followed on from where its predecessor left off. A couple of substitutions came for each team and then, as Alsager pressed, Cheadle Town countered with a glorious ball from No 7 (Limpitshi Bongwanga) finding Davin who rounded the keeper but was pushed out wide. Still the quick-thinking striker managed to cross the ball, with Amankwaa striding up and hitting the bar with his effort. No 8 (Matty Russell) had a pop seconds later but found the keeper quick to react and save.
Alsager continued to stay afloat, their No 10 (Ryan Hibbert) had an effort but the power was lacking - other than this no major threat was being brandished. The hosts continued to compete, No 2 (Thomas Hendley) had a pop straight at the keeper and then No 4 (Andrew Lunt) was threaded through but the opposing No 4 (William Aldred) read the danger and executed a stunning tackle to negate the peril. Lunt came again soon after, a shot was deflected, the guest No 1 (Eric Merner) produced a choice save and made sure this game was going to the wire.
We now peregrinated further into the chilly night, the result still looked touch and go when The Bullets' No 11 (Maximillian Lonsdale) ran for a hopeless ball in the corner, somehow managed to collar the globe, elude his close markers, make it into the box and get unceremoniously tumbled. The penalty awarded was great reward for his troubles and No 16 (Callum Collinson) rattled home the spot kick to get matters back to all square.
The short stretch to the finishing line saw Alsager push for the win and Cheadle scamper. Davin for the hosts produced a superb cross ball that saw a wayward cross come instead of a shot and then a Cheadle break was denied by a superb tackle and the resultant corner saw Davin flick over with the head. The final whistle was welcome, a share of the spoils extremely fair.
This was not a classic, a stodgy game in part with much rough and tumble. One player who deserves the Man of the Match choice was Cheadle Town's No 3 (Miles Vare) who had one of the busiest nights, kept his head and composure and ended up muddy, fagged out but with a good stint under his grubby belt. Get the Daz Automatic out lad, that kit needs a good rinse through.
FINAL THOUGHT - And so another game that exposed 2 teams not fully firing on all cylinders and just lacking that fluidity to take them on to better things. Alsager came and worked hard, they set out to disrupt and try and win the game, this was an admirable effort from a team who would not be anyone's first choice to be in the upper echelons of the league come the end of the season. Again the key is to get those shooting boots sharpened up, too many teams I am seeing of late are lacking that killer touch and one or two are going to pay a heavy price for it. Cheadle Town didn't get into any sort of stride tonight and had random patches of play that promised much but which ultimately failed to deliver. They got embroiled in a patchwork contest and made to dig deep to get any sighting of goal. The plans are big I hear at this local ground, there is still a lot of work to be done to make things come to fruition and waiting down the line are many teams who will be more lethal in front of goal. Next weeks local Derby is all set up to be a choice affair - I just hope the recent dose of Fungal Elbow doesn't flair up before hand - someone has to do these wanky reports!
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